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As you Slide Down The Banister Of Life, Remember... 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People." |
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3. The difference between the Pope and your boss... the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. |
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4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone. |
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5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. |
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6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood. |
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7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too. |
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8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house. |
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9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can. |
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10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."
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11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building. |
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12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite." |
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13 Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex. |
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Re Message #13. Grandkids: God's reward for putting up with teenagers. |
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