South Carolina Jokes

South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

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A short story...

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

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How do you know when you're staying in a South Carolina hotel?

"When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink."

and the person at the front desk says "go ahead".

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South Carolina: Just south of North Carolina

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Dumb South Carolina Laws

It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide.

Every adult male must bring a rifle to church on Sunday in order to ward off Indian attacks.

It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.

When approaching a four way or blind intersection in a non-horse driven vehicle you must stop 100 ft from the intersection and discharge a firearm into the air to warn horse traffic.

It is illegal to sell any alcoholic beverages on Sunday, unless you own a private club. (Repealed November 2000)

Horses may not be kept in bathtubs.

It is considered an offense to get a tattoo.

Performing a U-turn within 1,000 feet of an intersection is illegal.

Musical instruments may not be sold on Sunday.

No work may be done on Sunday.

An exception to the above law is that light bulbs may be sold.

All schools must prepare a suitable program for Francis Willard Day.

Dance halls may not operate on Sundays.

Merchandise may not be sold within a half mile of a church unless fruit is being sold.

Fortune tellers are required to obtain a special permit from the state.

A railroad my not remove itself from a town of more than five hundred people.

Railroad companies may be held liable in some instances for scaring horses.

By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place.

It is illegal to communicate with a woman using obscene messages.

It is illegal to display a confederate flag on a courthouse.

Charleston

It is against the law to drive a motorized vehicle on King Street.

The Fire Department may blow up your house. This law was made so that the fire department could create a fire brake.

Fountain Inn

Horses are to wear pants at all times.

Lancaster County

It is illegal to dance in public in Lancaster.

Spartanburg

Eating watermelons in the Magnolia Street cemetery is forbidden.