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Mikhail's Poetry : string ‘a pearls
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 Message 1 of 3 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamemakhala334  (Original Message)Sent: 5/14/2006 1:23 AM
string ‘a pearls

there is a whoosh is the swoosh since our leaving the bush
a glitch in the switch from raw want to fond wish
an analogy in the anomaly - basically - an apology - owed
for ignoring the blessing that’s right at our toes

‘string ‘a pearls�?BR>
we unfurled - rendered - tendered them here
unquestioned affection unleashed - at our direction
but
we took them for granted - breaking our advantage
breaking - the string -
string ‘a pearls - our splendid connection to the world - uH

our delightful string ’a pearls
strung snugly - discretely ‘round harshest world
irreplaceable beauty - inimitable glory
but we play - treat them as if a toy - oi

cherub-faces all in places - tidily furled
in our mind’s ferrule - - - - - - - string ‘a pearls

angel faces in feral places
cream-blush souls - inside countless colourful bases

oh - ah - the loves

string ‘a pearls

we lose - we schmooze - a irreplaceable fair-thee-well
we ferule - terror’s tool - torture schu-elle - for peace in hell
cherub faces strung side-by-each - glowing faces we will teach
to treat their young - same my son - lashing their poise with acid-based tongue

there’s a string of pearls strung ‘round the world
they are us - in miniature - strings of faces
angel graces - hungry for kindness - your highness
we’ve failed them - by being mindless

we leave them in fields of dreams
we leave them in chilly streams
we leave them - paladin in palatine
we leave them - it is a crime

we let them down - they buoy us up
we leave town - they wait up for us
we run away - they tag along
they always say - i luv you mum

we bomb their home - we kill their friends
we leave them alone - their spirit mends
we teach them hate - they ask us why
we say because - they say - good-bye

string-‘a-pearls - you make me cry

help a child - today - please

thanks,
m


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Reply
 Message 2 of 3 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamemakhala334Sent: 5/14/2006 7:22 AM
oof - this is pretty terrible

good message - ugly rhythm

ah well - ya can't win 'em all

m

Reply
 Message 3 of 3 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameZydhaSent: 7/9/2006 11:15 PM
This is not terrible, Mikhail, but you are right about the rhythm (in the first half at least)....but....it does contain a super message and although the first half did not flow nor read as clearly as the second, it is not terrible.
 
Have another try, Mikhail, this is worth time editing and streamlining a little, Zy