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New Poetry Pge 4 : Dreams for sale
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(4 recommendations so far) Message 1 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamepotleek  (Original Message)Sent: 10/24/2005 7:52 PM

I have untold dreams inside my head

All of them started when I was in bed

Some are funny, some are so sad

Some are not nice and some will make you glad

There’s one thing that I can bet

I’ve had every dream that you can get

So now without fail

I’ve decided my dreams are up for sale

They are not down in a catalogue or in a book

Just come along and take a good look

You can wander through them one at a time

I guarantee each one is mine

I don’t mind I have time to wait

While you check facts and perhaps the date

It doesn’t matter which one you choose

They’re all good you cannot lose

If you see one that you think is nice

I’m sure we can agree on the price

Please handle each one with some care

Specially the one’s that give you a scare

For if a dream is broken within its shell

Broken dreams I will never be able to sell

But when you leave, one thing you must do

Leave your name so I can dream of you.



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Reply
 Message 2 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameForestFlower5893Sent: 10/25/2005 4:37 PM
Hi Potleek,
 
I enjoyed this - a nice idea of having dreams for sale - think I'd go for the nice happy dreams.
 
Emma

Reply
The number of members that recommended this message. 0 recommendations  Message 3 of 11 in Discussion 
Sent: 10/25/2005 5:57 PM
This message has been deleted due to termination of membership.

Reply
 Message 4 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknamepotleekSent: 10/25/2005 8:30 PM
Hi Emma thanks for the comment, take your pick there's loads of happy ones..Tony

Reply
 Message 5 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknamepotleekSent: 10/25/2005 8:31 PM
Peter can't give you a list, you'll have to come and look for yourself..lol...Tony

Reply
 Message 6 of 11 in Discussion 
From: LittleBillSent: 10/26/2005 9:39 PM
Hi Tony...nicely worked piece with a clever rhythym n' rhyme...just sort of rolls effortlessly down the page...good work.

: )lb

Reply
 Message 7 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknamepotleekSent: 10/27/2005 3:43 PM
LB thanks a bundle appreciate your kind words...Tony

Reply
 Message 8 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameToo_many_whys_Sent: 10/27/2005 8:23 PM
Hi Potleek,
 
I don't usually go for rhyming stuff, but this seems quite effortless, and not like the words have had to been manouvered for the sake of rhyme. Whether it's the amount of imperitives in this, the natural rhyme, or the sort of time-sequencing with the markers, I don't know; but it certainly does more than just works as a message.
 
Katy

Reply
 Message 9 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknamepotleekSent: 10/29/2005 5:30 PM
Katy I really do appreciate your kind comment.
You either like rhyme or you don't, this I fully understand for I find free verse a little difficult at times.
I can't help but write any other way, I even think in rhyme at times..lol. Such is life.
But once again I thank you...Tony

Reply
 Message 10 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameZydhaSent: 10/30/2005 12:40 AM
Hy Tony, I like both free verse and rhyme, without preference. For me the first few lines of thought either fall happily into rhyme or don't and sometimes the rhyming sequence can be quite unorthodox and fun to stay with.
 
As Katy says, this seems to flow so effortlessly down the page and I enjoyed reading very much. An original concept and one which you handled well, Zy

Reply
 Message 11 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknamepotleekSent: 10/30/2005 8:09 PM
Zydha thank you so much for your kind comment.
I can't really say why it flows the way you and Katy have said, perhaps it is the way you would naturaly say it to someone, only that lines happen to end in rhyme.

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