A celebration
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3 months sober and still going strong!

Footage of someone coming out of an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting was shown on a wide screen. Judging by it's quality, one would assume it was from ages ago but to those of you who know the man, you'd know it was fairly recent. His face wasn't revealed on the video, it was Alcoholics ANONYMOUS for a reason. Although he wore a familiar t-shirt with bold print on the back with the name "Ryan Cain".

"So Ryan, how does it feel to be sober for so long?" asks a man who's face we cannot see. The camera man only seems to have been tapping the backside of Ryan Cain's. He was either gay or asleep and soon to be fired.

"It feels better than sex, man." Ryan's voice was a bit higher than expected. "But I'm not quite sure you know the feeling of a woman's touch yet to know the difference. Don't you worry though. I'll let you borrow my sister later."

You could hear the laughter of a female for a little while but then it comes to a stop at once.

"Oops." says Ryan. "Anyways. I'm about to head home. I'll see you tomorrow, man."

The screen suddenly went static and then the cameras panned to the people at the convention. Suddenly the doors were kicked open and there he stood, a bit smaller in size than we remember but laying off the alcohol must have shed that beer belly he was sporting. This turned the heads of Seifer, Omen and Jake as they watched a more delicate Ryan Cain walk into a party thrown in his name. The other guests are surprised as they stop sipping on their beers and now all eyes are on Ryan. Without hesitating, or stopping to say hello, Ryan makes his way up to the DJ and forces him to hand over the microphone. Okay so it's not really Ryan, it's actually Rebecca Rancid attempting to capture the Ryan "F0cking" Cain look thanks to her highly paid make up artist.

"Cut the damn music!" she shouts. "So since this party is for me.. here I am!"

She takes a minute to twirl around so that the guests can see the t-shirt she's sporting, which is worn by everyone in the room.

"I, Ryan Cain, have been alcohol free for 3 months now! That's right, folks. Ryan Cain hasn't even touched a bottle of alcohol let alone popped a single pill. And for that, I'm here to thank you all. If it wasn't for the encouragement I have received from my fellow co-workers I wouldn't be sob-er.. err.. sobeer." she pauses for a moment. "So BEER!" she exclaims before reaching out and grabbing someone's heineken from them.

"And in order to celebrate my soberness. I'm going to drink some of this."

Rebecca is about to take a sip until a couple of bodyguards pick her up causing her to drop the bottle. She begins to yell as they are carrying her away.

"I lied! I haven't been sober. I'm actually wasted right now and I drove myself to this party. I drink and drive like Lohan."

But to no avail Rebecca is thrown out of the party.. until they let her back again, this time without the wig. The guests begin to clap as she takes a bow.

"That performance deserved an Oscar!" says Jake who shakes Rebecca's hand. "You hit the nail squarely on the head."

"HAHAHOFKDSKFKDSKFJ" says Omen before heading off to get some beer.

"That's his way of saying awesome." says Seifer with a wink. "Let's go get drunk."

"You mean.. we're not already drunk?" asks Rebecca a bit confused.

They shake their heads as they make their way towards the open bar with matching t-shirts.