The Dysfunctional Section of a Hallmark Store
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Card 1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...
(Inside the card) - I've changed my mind.

Card 2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life....
(Inside the card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

Card 3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
(Inside the card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.

Card 4. Congratulations on your wedding day!...
(Inside the card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.

Card 5. Someday I hope to marry...
(Inside the card) - Someone other than you.

Card 6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside the card) - Almost lifelike!

Card 7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside the card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

Card 8. We've been friends for a very long time...
(Inside the card) - What do you say we stop?

Card 9. I'm so miserable without you...
(Inside the card) - It's almost like you're still here.

Card 10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
(Inside the card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?

Card 11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
(Inside the card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

Card 12. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in <st1:State w:st="on">Arkansas</st1:State>, <st1:State w:st="on">Alabama</st1:State>, <st1:State w:st="on">Mississippi</st1:State>, and <st1:State w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">West Virginia</st1:place></st1:State>.)

Card 13. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder...
(Inside the card) - What was I thinking?<o:p></o:p>