Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Charles

> decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. Going to a singles' bar,

> he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away. "I'm just an

> ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but in just a week or two,

> my father will die and I'll inherit 50 million dollars."

>

> The woman went home with Charles, and the next day she became his

> stepmother.

>

> ........... Men will never learn. (I don't agree with that - Voyager)

>

> ----------------------------------------------------

>

> Before the 2002 inauguration of George Bush, he was invited to a get

> acquainted tour of the White House.

>

> After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if

> he could use his personal bathroom.

>

> When he entered Clinton's private toilet, he was astonished to see

> that President Clinton had a solid gold urinal.

>

> That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. "Just

> think," he said, "when I am President, I could have a gold urinal too,

> but I wouldn't do something that self indulging!"

>

> Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White

> House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been at his discovery

> of the fact, that in the President's private bathroom, the President

> had a golden urinal.

>

> That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed,

> Hillary smiled, and said to Bill, "I found out who pissed in your saxophone".

>

> ---------I always knew Hilary is the smarter one-------------------------------------------------------------

> ----

-------

>

>

> A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs.

>

> She had twenty- five students in her class and she presented each

> child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come

> up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were

> actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you.

>

> While reading these keep in mind that these are first

> graders.....6-year-olds,because the last one is classic!

>

> 1. Better to be safe than .....................punch a 5th grader.

>

> 2. Strike while the ..............................bug is close.

>

> 3. It's always darkest before ................Daylight Saving Time.

>

> 4. Never underestimate the power of .....termites.

>

> 5. You can lead a horse to water but ......how?

>

> 6. Don't bite the hand that ......................looks dirty.

>

> 7. No news is ......................................impossible.

>

> 8. A miss is as good as a ........................Mr..

>

> 9. You can't teach an old dog new ..........math.

>

> 10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll ......stink in the morning.

>

> 11. Love all, trust ............................me.

>

> 12. The pen is mightier than the ......pigs.

>

> 13. An idle mind is ...........................the best way to relax.

>

> 14. Where there's smoke there's .......pollution.

>

> 15. Happy the bride who ...................gets all the presents.

>

> 16. A penny saved is .........................not much.

>

> 17. Two's company, three's ...............the Musketeers.

>

> 18. Don't put off till tomorrow what .......you put on to go to bed.

>

> 19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and .........you

> have

to

> blow your nose.

>

> 20. There are none so blind as .................Stevie Wonder.

>

> 21. Children should be seen and not .........spanked or grounded.

>

> 22. If at first you don't succeed ..................get new batteries.

>

> 23. You get out of something only what you ...........see in the

> picture

on

> the box.

>

> 24. When the blind leadeth the blind ......get out of the way.

>

> And the WINNER and last one!

>

> 25. Better late than ...........................pregnant.

>