(this is kind rambling...it's a good representation of my mind right now!  *lol*)

 

I guess  should be happy I have options, but sometimes I just wanna be left alone, in my own little world!

 

I've always been self-employed, which means I never have alot of money, which is often a concern to me.  The up side is, I LOVE my work!

 

I do a couple of positions, one of which is as a music therapist at a care home (I'm also "on staff" but only get work in the activity dept if someone is sick or on holiday).   They've created an "extra" position, basically part time in the dept, and it sounds like I can have it if I want it.  It's not exactly a normal position in that I gather the pay comes out of funds, not normal payroll (they had extra funds, and decided to create the position).  The funds arose because there was so little sick time taken in the dept that there was money left over.  So, theoretically, if people get more sick or take more time off, the position likely would disappear.  At the same time EITHER WAY, they say that although this is a permanent part time position, it could in fact "disappear" at any time (2 months, 2 years, indefinite, who knows).

 

Not only would it interefere with
my other work, but it will limit my music sessions as
well (ironically) that I do at that care home.

 

I absolutely cannot decide what I should do.  I'd have to drop all my other work, and if the position was in fact cancelled, I'd have to start from scratch again.

 

I HATE change, and I hate having options put to me
when I LIKE what I'm doing, but common sense says I
should do otherwise. 

Where's your vote?  Poor and happy, or steady income
and stressed?  *lol*   Ok, so poor leaves me somewhat
stressed, too *LOL*

 

The only way I can seem to make sense out of it, is to
ask myself, "if the offer was suddenly retracted how
would I feel?"  *Relieved* is the answer, which makes
me think I'm answering my own question.  I just can't
help feeling I'm behaving stupidly and recklessly for wanting to keep doing what I'm doing. 
*sigh*

 

Thanks for listening!!

Linda