It was three years ago today that I received a call from my daughter who told me that Bobby, my 14 year old son, had been in an auto accident, and did not survive.
I was working with my husband at our little restaurant when Sarah called, she couldn't even talk, her boyfriend actually explained what had happened. I couldn't even think....I remember putting the phone down and telling Tim "There's been an accident, I don't think Bobby made it...." as I was running out the door and telling Tim that I'd call him as soon as I knew what had happened. I picked Sarah and her boyfriend up at our house and then drove out to Bobby's dad's house, as he lived with his father, about 20 miles away.
Bobby had left school that afternoon and rather than take the bus, he rode with a friend. They stopped at Bobby's house so he could drop off his books, then got back into the car to go just another mile down the road to another friend's house. They never made it. They were on a slushy dirt road, with the driver going way too fast for conditions. The car did not make it through the curve and hit a tree. Bobby died instantly (thank God), the driver sustained numerous broken bones, and another boy walked away unharmed. I will add here that Bobby did NOT put his seat belt back on for this "short" ride.
The house was already filled with neighbors and friends and the associate pastor from Bobby's church. Then Bob (Bobby's dad, my ex), his brother and myself made the awful trip to the hospital. I wasn't sure I could go on, but a VERY special nurse told me that I really should see Bobby, and for that advice I am very grateful.
On the way home, in town, I'll never forget the snowball that hit our car. I remember laughing (I know....how could I be LAUGHING), but all I could think of was that was Bobby's final message to us....."I'm OKAY, mom!!!"
I knew that on the day of the funeral Bob and I would have a bit to discuss, so I asked my hubby to drive himself and his brother, I'd drive myself. I remember crying the entire way, demanding God to answer me. I also thought of just not showing up...certainly everyone could understand my grief. Finally, in the parking lot I just prayed for God to get me through this one day.
The church was FILLED, and afterward I noticed that the school had deliverd THREE busloads of Bobby's friends and classmates. It was during the luncheon afterward when I really felt God's hand already beginning to work my soul. A lady came up to me and said "You must be REALLY angry with the driver of that car." It was then that I realized even from the day Bobby died, I wasn't angry with ANYONE. Even now, I realize that is was simply an accident. My sister who is a lieutenant with the city's police department had been my liason with the state police and the county sheriff. She told me that the state, after investigating, DID have enough evidence to prove fault and wreckless driving (no kidding), and did I want to file charges. I said absolutely NOT. All I had to do was think back to my teenage driving experiences and I realized that this driver was simply inexperienced and had no intention of hurting, much less killing, anyone.
It it with God's grace and the wonderful people I've met here, that I've been able to continue the way that I have. Bobby has started a new life....and so have I.
God Bless you ALL!
Nancy Stroosnyder
Bobby Munjoy's mom
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