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| | From: MomOf4 (Original Message) | Sent: 11/13/2006 3:56 PM |
Awkwardly, imperfectly, fighting it every step of the way, In frustration and confusion....full of sadness, riddled with sorrow, knee deep in denial...being misunderstood and misunderstanding what others say, what they do....ANGER.....disbelief....bargaining....surrendering to pain....It all sounds easy enough, to work through...... in a book, on paper, and even in our minds....... until the time that death darkens our door and we are left to live with the aftermath.....accepting our losses takes time....and lots of energy....we are tired and drained...and that adds to confusion and pain....So when you think you aren't doing well....YOU PROBABLY AREN'T DOING WELL....and that is, unfortunately, very normal at this time in your life. Hoping that brighter days are on the horizon..... |
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| | From: MomOf4 | Sent: 11/13/2006 4:12 PM |
We know in our minds that all of this is part of the grief process...but, our heart says something else..., we feel alone and sometimes feel as though we are going out of our minds.. During the grieving process, you may feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster ride, but things will get better if you allow yourself to heal. Getting Through the Grieving ProcessDon't be in a hurry to get through the grieving process. Allow yourself to do what you feel you need to do from day to day. | Know that it is not a betrayal to the memory of your loved one to begin the healing process. | | Honor your loved one by talking about their life and sharing what you will miss the most. | | Ask yourself: What would the deceased want you to do? | | Find a meaning and a purpose to being here. (expecting a new baby, or a new grandchild, getting married, starting a new career.) These are just a few examples. You can probably think of others that fit your own situation. | | | |
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| | From: MomOf4 | Sent: 11/14/2006 4:12 PM |
Grieving is a personal experience. Depending on who you are and the nature of your loss, your process of grieving will be different from another person's experience. There is no "normal and expected" period of time for grieving. Some people adjust to a new life within several weeks or months. Others take a year or more, particularly when their daily life has been radically changed or their loss was traumatic and unexpected |
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| | From: MomOf4 | Sent: 11/15/2006 5:24 PM |
Time Does Not Heal Everything According to Dr. Phil, time heals nothing. It's not the passage of time; it's what you do with that time. One day of doing the right thing can replace a year of doing the wrong thing. You want to set up your "new normal" realistically and honestly. Don't let yourself spend days and weeks in denial and withdrawal. One day of getting your mind, heart and spirit around the grief can heal so much—it's a matter of when you're ready for that. (I wonder if Dr. Phil has ever lost a child or grandchild...Rean) |
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I believe there is no end to grieving for someone you loved and lost. I think you have to deal with your depression, your sense of loneliness, your anger, your needs, etc...and the list goes on and on in order to be able to function after such a loss,but you always grieve. I lost my son Nov. 2, 1969, 38 years ago, and I still grieve for him. Through the years I have learned that I have to deal with my loss, but to this day I still wish I could have him back. I had no choice but to move on after his death, but I remember everything just as though it happened yesterday and I know I will never forget anything, not even one little detail of that day. He is now tucked safely away in my heart where he will remain until the day I die, and I believe that will be the day I stop grieving for him because I will be with him. Hugs...Shannon |
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