Hi Andrea,
i think Philip needs me more now than Timothy ever did and Timothy was the one that was sick. Otherwise Philip will be emotionally stuffed forever and that is going to ripple down through the generations that we have started and you have started with your beautiful Joshua. Who will one day be responsible for his own kids - and he is going to learn to do that from you :)
Even though we have had these kids that have needed extra it is now time to focus on the ones that are left. Angels are caring for Tim and Jacob and Tim and Jacob are going to be caring for us. We really do owe these kids that have had to miss out on things in the past and ensure they grow to be emotionally healthy people and one day we will have hapy grandkchildren because we put so much energ into helping our kids that are still here heal.
I believe that it wil be a big part of our own healing as well. Not that i can even imagine healing...but i have to think like that or i may as well jump off the planet now.
But i hear you and i have had 22 mths of thinking - all day and all night and Philip deserves the best that i can give him and your Joshua sounds like a sparkle in your life too .
Love and Hugs
Annie - having a bit of a rough day today too :(
oh yeah - all the questions you look skyward and ask , i ask the same things....... no answers....for the first time ever i have had to accept the unaccetable in order to live..... i am not good at it at all.
I like answers, i like reasons, i like order and things to be justified - what has happened has gone against everything that i live by. My whole belief system has been turned upside down.
yesterday an old school friend lost her 19yr old son in a car accident and last year my nephew was elcectrocuted at 26, 4 weeks ago a young lady died at 19 from the same thing as Tim had, late last year a friend i met on the net lost her 7 yr olld with the same thing, I guess it is important also to remember we have not been singled out and feel like we are being dealt a blow that we deserve or because we did not do something. If you become pregnant then you take the chance that it is not going to be a fairy tale ending - i did not know this until Tim got sick.
I look at Philip and often think just because i lost Tim does not mean i won;t lose Philip too, what happens if i don't give him %150 and he has an accident? i just have to keep giving myself reality checks...Philip could also lose a child one day = it seems to happen far too much and we at least have all found each other and for that i am grateful -
more hugs to you and all of us here and i do realise that some of us here have lost more than one child - and i just shake me head at the thought of such great losses and how you can even turn around and give us all here so much love and support.
more hugs and love
Annie
|
Free Forum Hosting
Important Announcement
Prev Discussion
Prev Message
