or a ferret wrestling ring.

I love thee steadfastly - enough to devote years to raising
you from a wobbly speck into a strong healthy adult (who
promptly attempts to seize control).

I love thee passionately - despite your repeated efforts to
probe my ears, eyes and mouth with the same tongue you use
for various other atrocities.

I love thee well - despite the amazing odors you produce.

I love thee deeply - though you use me as a napkin at every
opportunity.

I love thee madly - despite the various bodily functions you
have performed at inappropriate moments - in inappropriate places.

I love thee constantly - despite the hidey hole I have
searched for wallets for many years.

I love thee truly - despite the "ferret brownies" hidden in
in most corners of the house.

I love thee absolutely - because you never (well, hardly ever)
hide the remote control.

I love thee gratefully - because you stay by my side (or on top of me).

I love thee devotedly - more than clean carpeting, clothing,
furniture, floors or walls.

I love thee bravely - enough to battle the indomitable flea on
your behalf.

I love thee monetarily - enough to put the vet's children through
college.

I love thee openly - I will bear any embarrassment for your furry
sake.

I love thee totally - more than free time, excess cash or a
predictable life.