Healing a Broken Heart

When a loved one has betrayed our trust, the resulting heartbreak is profound. Shock is followed by grief, disappointment and sadness. One-sided commitment, infidelity, deception and abuse are some of the tragedies that cause anguish to countless, innocent victims. Families are broken, relationships damaged and lives are destroyed. Many men have broken their wives' tender hearts and lost their children's confidence. Their heart cries ascend to God, and many hearts die, pierced with deep wounds. The loss of faith may cause emotional scars which, if left untreated, might hinder the victims' ability to trust and love again.

A part of the disappointment of betrayal in love is the lost emotional investment--the stronger the love, the greater the loss. For whatever reasons people break up, the intensity of emotions corresponds to the perception of loss. Two mature individuals may separate amiably and still suffer emotional hurt. Whoever said, "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved" has never experienced love nor loss.

By its nature, grief is both intense and short-lived. Our adversity and affliction, though large in presence, last but a small moment in eternal perspectives. Eventually shock diminishes, but unaddressed resentment may build up with compound interest. Although anger is occasionally appropriate, being human, we rarely apply our fury righteously. To harbor ill feelings for another only cankers one's own soul. We should seek the healing balm instead.

Profound grief, such as the tragic loss of a loved one, can be debilitating if loved ones aren't around to provide support and comfort. But even in tragedy, human character is resilient, gaining refinement through adverse circumstances, with divine ability to heal over time.

How can a broken heart be healed?

Acceptance of your circumstances doesn't mean resigning to them. It merely acknowledges the situation, so that you can then move on. The vital next step is to forgive. Forgiveness is the soul-saving action that will help you and your loved ones heal. In Shakespeare's "Merchant of Venice," Portia says, "The quality of mercy ... is twice blesse'd; it blesseth him that gives and him that takes." The offender needs forgiveness to bring about an eventual change of heart. The offended needs to forgive for the needed healing of the soul. An unforgiving victim stands under the greater condemnation, because his or her progress remains blocked. Until we let go of resentment and unholy feelings, we can never attain to higher realms of spiritual growth.

Leave judgment to God. The victim may stand in the best position to condemn the offender. But the victim also stands in the best place to give mercy. That doesn't mean standing in the way of peril. Flee from real danger, and protect your loved ones from harm.

God forgives perfectly. As we sincerely repent, amend and forsake wrongs we've committed, He has the divine ability to forget our sins. His forgiveness is absolute. In His love, there are no human shortcomings of stored resentment or keeping a running tally of past repented wrongs. We need to learn from God's perfect love and learn to forgive as He does. We can't do that on our own. We need to pray for change of heart.

Suffering serves several purposes toward our growth. Our existence consists of learning through our own experience the contrasts between good and evil, happiness and heartache. Our experience is meant to help us grow and progress. We don't need to question God's omnipotence or compassion. We need to understand that God's purpose for each of us is to learn the lessons of mortality we would never understand as spirits in His presence: joy and pain, happiness and disappointment, sickness and health.

Everyone needs healing. The true balm of healing is forgiveness. Christ's atonement reaches to broken hearts, to loved ones who have been hurt or who have hurt, to damaged relationships and to innocent lives that have been harmed. God gives comfort through His Holy Spirit. He sees our adversity with compassion, but also with patient perspective that sees the end of the meaningful journey. Here we have the opportunity to transcend the trials of life toward continued progress and growth.

^{PSALM 25}

¹ Unto thee, O LORD, do I lift up my soul. ² O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph over me. ³ Yea, let none that wait on thee be ashamed: let them be ashamed which transgress without cause. ⁴ Show me thy ways, O LORD; teach me thy paths. ⁵ Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day. ⁶ Remember, O LORD, thy tender mercies and thy loving kindnesses; for they have been ever of old. ⁷ Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions: according to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness' sake, O LORD. ⁸ Good and upright is the LORD: therefore will he teach sinners in the way. ⁹ The meek will he guide in judgment: and the meek will he teach his way. ¹⁰ All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies. ¹¹ For thy name's sake, O LORD, pardon mine iniquity; for it is great.. ²⁰ O keep my soul, and deliver me: let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee. ²¹ Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee.

Psalm 51

¹ Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy loving kindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. ² Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. ³ For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. ⁴ Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou might be justified when you speak, and be clear when thou judge. ⁵ Behold, I was shaped in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me. ⁶ Behold, You most desire truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shall make me to know wisdom. ⁷ Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. ⁸ Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. ⁹ Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. ¹⁰ Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. ¹¹ Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. ¹² Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. ¹³ Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee. ¹⁴ Deliver me from blood guiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness. ¹⁵ O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall pour forth your praise. ¹⁶ You most desire not sacrifice; else would I give it: You most delight not in burnt offering. ¹⁷ The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, You wilt not despise. ¹⁸

Psalm 103¹ 

Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. ² Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: ³ Who forgives all our iniquities; who heals all our diseases; ⁴ Who redeems our life from destruction; who crowns us with loving kindness and tender mercies; ⁵ Who satisfies our mouths with good things; so that our youth is renewed like the eagle's. ⁶ The LORD is righteous in judgment for all that are oppressed. ⁷ He made known his ways unto Moses, his acts unto the children of Israel. ⁸ The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy. ⁹ He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever. ¹⁰ He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. ¹¹ For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. ¹² As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. ¹³ Like as a father pities his children, so the LORD pities them that fear him. ¹⁴ For he knows how we are made;  he knows that we are dust. ¹⁵ As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourishes. ¹⁶ For the wind passes over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more. ¹⁷ But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children; ¹⁸ To such as keep his covenant, and to those that remember his commandments to do them. ¹⁹ The LORD hath prepared his throne in the heavens; and his kingdom rules over all. ²⁰ Bless the LORD, ye his angels, that excel in strength, that do his commandments, hearkening unto the voice of his word. ²¹ Bless ye the LORD, all ye his hosts; ye ministers of his, that do his pleasure. ²² Bless the LORD, all his works in all places of his dominion: bless the LORD, O my soul.