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| | From:  Nić (Original Message) | Sent: 6/6/2005 10:09 AM |
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| | | From: ghaens | Sent: 6/6/2005 11:11 AM |
Ah Nic, now awful for you... Gary and I can get exactly the same... had a mini one last week so I know just how bad you feel right now. Can't offer any advice only support and an ear or a shoulder should you need it...  |
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| | | From: Nić | Sent: 6/6/2005 11:42 AM |
thanks Noel, I just needed to talk about it as not having my best mate here is difficult and I have to stop bottling it in or I will explode We need to talk but very bad timing with his mom coming.... |
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Hunni, I know what your'e going through too, I've been there. How old is John? Does seem to be something that hits them around the 40 mark. Mark was really wierd just before his. Yes you do need to talk and you need to let him know unhappy your'e feeling. Maybe once his mum has left. I hope you can talk this through and come out happier the other side. Jen's also right about having time for just the two of you. Is that difficult, do you always have the boys being out there? It does make a difference, even if its only a couple times a year that you get away alone. Sending you huge hugs hunni xxx |
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| | | From: jane | Sent: 6/6/2005 1:07 PM |
for the other side of the debate..... i left my hubby and came back to UK from Greece. never regretted it one bit. Will return when Rob is at Uni. Have done a degree and am now a teacher. Whatever happens it will all work out. |
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(((((((( Nik ))))))))) we are here for you to vent your views ... i donno what to suggest ... all apart from sitting him down strapping him to a chair and sticking a rag in his mouth and then you tell him exactly what you have told us. Cant his mum have the boys for a night so you can get some time for just u 2 ? |
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I guessed he might be, as I said Mark was really strange about turning 40, but your totally right, there is no need to take it out on you. Good luck, hope you get to talk it out tonight |
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Awww hun, I hear ya load and clear. I agree with the girls. Bruce turned 40 last year, and yes, they do seem to go through something. Pain in the arse, isn't it? It will be hard to talk to him with his Mum coming, but when Bruce does it, I sit down with him and talk to him in a calm voice and tell him what he's been like. I use a bit of humour, (is it your time of the month?, that sort of thing) before long we are both laughing about it and everythings good, till the next time. The name for it, I believe, is "andropause", its the male version of menopause. Its hard, I know, but everything will be ok hun in the end. Hugs to you mate!!  |
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Nic, I've only just seen this hun ((((((Nic)))))) . I'm so sorrry you're having problems. Paul & I have days when we can be like that, Paul & I are both 47 now, he always says he makes allowances for me, as I am going through the menopause, that's normally when I throw something at him, or fly into a rage, which is where I'm at - at the moment, I don't often post about how "we" are, I think because, to me its just run of the mill boring usual stuff, if you get me, but yes, I think they suddently get to the point, when they think, hang on, I'm getting older, will I still be attractive, etc, as well as work pressures, don't forget you've also had the shop, clothes purchasing, the legal problems with the house (or was that Poll??  ) and the tv production, everything can add up and put pressure on any relationship. I think maybe if you could tell him how unhappy you are and ask him to hear you out before he says anything or flys off the handle, at least then you can get it out in the open, he may not even realise there's anything wrong. I agree, having his mum over might be an opportunity for you two to talk, even if its only for an hour or so, go for a walk or something, if you don't fancy having a heart to heart over a meal, its much more private that way. Paul & I have aired a lot of differences over the years and made decisions by just the two of us walking along a beach, no kids, no distractions, just us. Don't bottle it up hun, I hate for it to drive a wedge between you. You knnow that we are all here for you, good times and bad  Chin up hun |
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You need to tell him that you still love him...keep lines of communication open , never go to bed without a goodnight kiss . Things will work out .....I've been with my husband for 27 years, had really bad periods especially caused by our son. But at the end of the day he is the man you chose to be with, and you may have to fight to keep him.....just remember that essentially men are stupid and need us terribly. There, go and give the idiot a hug and a kiss |
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and when he calls on the mobile after an hour i ignore it and go home an hour later lol. I will agree that you need to tell him how you feel, his mum coming isn't coming at a very good time is she, i hope you both can sort things out, hugs to you hunni 
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