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| | From:  LINN1E (Original Message) | Sent: 8/7/2006 9:08 AM |
Basically you may remember me saying 2 of my friends relationships have broken up, well one Jill is on A/D's but is getting better and being really strong, she's keeping it together for her kids, the other friend Sally has gone the other way and is feeling very sorry for herself and feels she should end it all, cos her kids and the world would be better without her , well at the moment she's very draining. For the past few weeks, she has spent at least one night every weekend staying here with her kids, well last week I had her 2 girls while she was at work, (She's split the holiday weeks up with me and another friend), anyway on Friday she came round to collect the girls and give me some money, and was in a state cos she had to go to the hospital, (She hurt her ankle 4 weeks ago and the dr has only just realised it had a hairline fracture ) and was going to take the 3 kids with her, so I said to her to leave the kids, cos she could be there for hours and they would get fed up, so I gave them dinner and it got to about 10pm and we still hadn't heard from her, well the kids were tired so I said they could stay the night. Sally finally phoned at 10.45 to say she was out of A & E, but they wouldn't do anything for her ankle, so Mark and I went and picked her up from the hospital and took her home, cos we weren't comfortable with a woman on her own, coming home on a bus at that time of night, through Central Croydon. Saturday I knew she wasn't going to be round early, cos she had to wait in for a delivery first, but she got round to me about 2pm, by which time the kids had all had breakfast and lunch, but that was fine, but then she asked if she could come with us to drop Kessie off at camp, cos it was her wedding anniversary and she didn't want to be at home, but also didn't want to be with a load of kids so ok that was fine, then on the way home we picked up some pizza and wine, and somehow they all ended up staying the night again Now Sunday we had already planned to pick up another friend Ann and go to Makro's, but Sally asked if she could come to, well neither of us felt we could say no, cos it's all "woe is me" with her at the moment, so we all got in the car, got Ann and off we went. Now because Sally is walking round on a broken ankle, cos the dr's and hospital haven't done anything, it took twice as long to get round, we could have done without it cos we had to drop Byron of at Mark's mum's place, so by the time we finished at Makro's dropped Sally off and took her shopping in, then did the same for Ann (Cos she's not long been out of hospital, cos she had to have her gall bladder removed) and got home and dropped in our shopping, it was 3 o'clock, well Zara walked Sally's kids home and came back, then we left to go and drop Byron off, by which time Mark's mum had been on the phone a few times, cos she was taking us for lunch and we had planned to be there by 2 anyway she said to go to David and Dawn's (Mark's brother and SIL) cos he had the paddling pool out, so we went there, by this time it was gone 4 and mum took us to the pub opposite to eat, which was a lovely meal, after that the kids spent a couple of hours in the pool, and while we were sat there Sally texted me to say she was going to another hospital, but I know it's quite a walk from the bus stop to the hospital and told her this, but she went anyway, well they said they wouldn't plaster the ankle cos it had been too long, but they would give her crutches, well after they xrayed her, they wouldn't even do that, cos they said it had healed, so then she asked if Mark could go and pick her up from the hospital, but I said we weren't home and it would be at least an hour if not longer, so then tried to put me on a guilt trip with texting "I should just forget about my life getting any easier or better, it isn't going to happen, good things don't happen to people like me", it just made me so angry, because we're not there just for her and her kids, we have our own family to take care of, (and we've done a lot for her lately,) she spoilt what was a lovely afternoon/evening, and as it happened we didn't get home til about 9pm anyway. Sorry to have gone on so long, but this has been culminating for a few weeks now Linnie xxx |
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Aww hunni, it sounds as though she using you and your family as a crutch in her time of need. But as you rightly say, its one thing being a good friend, but another when she starts moving in on your family and expecting you to be there 24/7. She needs to find another way of coping with what shes going through and someone profesional to talk to about her feelings of despair. Its not easy trying to be there for someone with such feelings of desperation to the degree that they feel they're better off not here, and someone feeling that way really does need profesional help. She cannot expect you to go along for the ride so to speak, you've enough on your own plate right now. Try and persuade her she needs to go to the drs and get some help to get her through this difficult time. Explain that you will be there to listen but that you cant offer much more right now as you're having a tough time of it with your own family and need to be there for them.  |
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| | | From: Nić | Sent: 8/7/2006 1:23 PM |
Poor you Linnie, as if you havent got enough on your plate.... |
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awwww Linnie hunni what Gill says tbh... she needs professional help |
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She sounds a bottomless pit to me - after all you have already done, and all she can do is sulk because you can do her bidding at a moment's notice...tsk, tsk - shame on her, broken up marriage or not. You've absolutely naught to be guilty about - quite the contrary!! |
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"can"- oops meant CAN'T!! |
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Hows things going with her now Linnie hun??? |
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| | | From: LINN1E | Sent: 9/5/2006 12:16 PM |
I forgot top say before, cos I can't go into too much detail, but there's various official bodies already involved, including the police and social services as for her hubby he's not allowed to do much As for Sally, she's much better now, though all through the summer holidays she was here 1 or 2 nights every weekend, but she did help out with the food and stuff, she still has bad days though not nearly as bad as before, what depresses her most is the official bodies dragging it all up, after she's tried to put things to the back of her mind. The hospital eventually gave her one of those strange looking splint boots, which she had to wear for 3 weeks, then went back for a check-up on Thursday and needs it for another 4 weeks but they've warned her this could go on for months yet I'll update again if there's any developments, but that's all for now. Linnie xxx |
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Glad things are better now. Hope she's not taking the mick too much with you tho. |
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Wow all sounds very complicated. I hope things pick up for her really soon hun. |
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