ok guys this is the story so far:
met really nice bloke on internet dating site.....(dont laugh) bout 5 weeks ago... against all odds including my own cynicism (sp) he makes me feel like no one else i have ever met...we spent most of the first 3 weeks talking sometimes up to 7 hours at a time all into the night
he lives in Hull...i live in devon bout 300 miles apart...he doesnt drive and is also off work sick coz of major operation on his leg...which has also made him a bit depressed
so 2 weeks ago after him crying down the phone to me that hes so fed up and depressed i got in my car and drove to hull to surprise himdidnt tell him i was going...
Stood on his doorstep sat lunchtime and rang him and said 'please can you come down and open ur front door i really need to pee'
he was very surprised to see me..but we had a lovely weekend i stayed at his...we slept in the same bed..we didnt have sex but did just about everything elseit just felt soooo right..i didnt feel scared about being on my own with him... it was perfect and neither of us wanted me to go home..
anyway have since been chatting on msn...and there was talk of him coming down to stay for a while....
then he sent me an email saying he thought things were going a bit fast for him and that he needed to take some time to thing bout what he wanted out of life..that he really liked me heaps and that it scared him shitless that he felt like that
so he took some time we didnt speak at all last weekend i was sooooo miserable
then he popped up on line on tues night and we chatted for ages
and again on wed...
then he hasnt been around til this morning when we chatted and had a nice time..then again this arvo when it seemed to not go so well...but i think its my fault for being half cut...
when he thought i was asleep in his arms he whispered in my ear that although he thought my name was nice it would sound better if i had his surname...
but coz he suffers a bit with depression at the moment hes super sensitive and keeps saying things like 'your too good for me' and not believing that i want to be with him coz hes got no belief in himself..i'm just finding it really hard to say the right thing all the time..i love him and want to marry him..(never thought i would ever wanna get married again) but there we go..but its soooooo hard giving him the space he needs
sorry ladies for the mammoth essay
i feel better now