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| | From:  ßratz (Original Message) | Sent: 3/19/2004 12:34 PM |
What is the legal age where you live? Should it be raised, lowered, or exist at all? Here the legal age is 14. What is the appropriate age for having sex? And how do we protect our little ones if there is no legal age? Is it like giving our kids a license because they are "old enough"? |
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Hmmm, well, whether there is an age of consent or not, teenagers are going to have sex when the feel like it, irrespective of whether they are legally old enough, but as Mumsie says, it does offer protection to those likely to be taken advantage of at a young age by an older partner. The age of consent in the UK is 16, which I think is about right, as once you have left school, you are old enough to make your own decisions - I think 14 is a bit young, as in Canada tho, as at 14, you are still technically a child, and still in full time education, and I think at 14 boys especially, are a little young to handle the consequences of unprotected sex, and maybe, the lower the age of consent, the younger kids are going to be having sex. Lou xxx |
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Hmmmm, I had sex this first time at 16, and I think it was a good time for me, and I don't regret it. But my daughter is coming on 14 this year, and my hair is turning grey at the thought. No offence Nik, but I don't want to be raising my grandkids. I think they should put it back to 16. Bcause i'm sorry, but 14 is too young, especially if pressured by an older guy. And it just gives them license to think it is ok. |
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Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm . Age is just a number but i do think that 16 is about the leagal age ..... reading from above not many of you waited till then. I fell any younger that the mental ability of the child is not yet compleate.... yet some ppl dont grow up in that department for years. Tis a tricky debate really cos everyone is different, as ppl have said up above thay didnt wait till 16 and had sex be the legal age ... i would imagine at the time they felt they were old enought to decide for them selves. As long as "kids" these days are taught about protection and STD`s im sure the majority will be safe. I`m dreading mt kids reaching the legal age. But im on the same wave length as Mumsie ,..... once they have long term gf`s / bf`s what do you do , just pretend they aint having sex ? i think not id sooner my kids with their partners be safe in my home rather than have a quickie in a car or as someone elses house LOL |
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It is a hard one this....................... but i agree with alot of above, the legal age is not there for the childrens sake really, it is to keep the perves away, and have a guide line to be able to prosecute them. And alot of children these days are so mentally much more mature than i ever remember being at their age. Also i agree with dizz and teach, if my two were of legal age, and in a steady relationship i would preer to have them do the deed in my place, so i knew they were safe!!! I think i was more defiant and dead set of getting out there, because my dad wouldn't even discuss the subject under his roof, let alone let me bring anyone home!! I have always said if my kids want to experiment then i rather i be able to supervise to a certain extent!! |
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| | | From: ßratz | Sent: 3/22/2004 12:28 PM |
Well, far to much agreeing, lol. I must toss another log on. Let say a girl, age 15, gets pregnant by a boy 19. Now, there are 2 choices as a young 19 year old may see them. 1> Stick around and possibly get charged with statuatory rape, or 2> Take off, and leave the 15 year old to fend for herself. We tell these boys to grow up and accept responsibility. Byut what about those who dont' realize how old the girl is at the time. Let's face it... 15 doesn't mean innocent in all ways. If your son thinks a girl is 17 and he is 19... well, where would you stand when the police come to the door to charge him with the rape of a minor? Kids today don't wait long. And depending on where and how they meet, well, it is certainly possible that a gril could hide her age for weeks or months, without the boy ever suspecting a thing. |
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I would'nt want my son running away from his responsibility thats for sure, it is hard to tell what age the young people are today, i'd feel sorry for the lads now a days if there told the girl is older  then i don't know what can be done. If my daughter got pregnant at 15 and she told the boyfriend she was older and they were going out togather for some time, i don't think i could being the law into it ,she'd be as much to blame as the boyfriend.Thats my tuppens worth, maybe not put a cross that well but thats it. Maureen |
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I can give my opinion straight away on a boy whos 18 and his 15 yr old g/friend
I have an 18 yr old going out with a 15 yr old, however, he thought she was 16 last year until they had a hiccup a cpl of months ago and she had to take an adult to the doctors to get the mornign after pill as her GP wouldnt deal with her until there was one present and the one had to not be her boyfriend. I was amazed at the doctors attitude to be honest she was going for help' not lectures we have all been young or did he come out of his mothers womb a victorian.
I spoke sternly with my son and said he should have found out first for sure her age before going so far not just relying on her say so, there are ways of doing that plus I advised them both to take more precautions other than just a condom next time ( I must say at least they have been partly sensible). His g/friend doesnt want to go on the pill or use any other feminine form of contraception she says its not right for her incase her mother finds out, so my lad has said until she does something to be responsible too he is going to abstain until she is 16. I hope he can wait till June if they are still together then that is, kids can be very fickle at his age as we all remember Iam sure.
As for the legal age being lowered no I think tha tis wrong at 14 we know nothing and are still in diapers as such, I know at one time in the UK they were thinking of lowering then highering the age limit from 16 to 18 then just left it as it is which 16 is ok but why have legal age of 16 for sex but not legally old enought to wed or get a mortgage till your 18 without the consent of parents, if they have you as responsible at 16 for sex then why not for the baggage that goes with it if the girl gets pregnant and they want to be adults about it.
sorry for long winded reply but had to get it off me chest so to speak
xx |
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I would certainly expect my son to take his responsibilitys seriously. It is very hard to tell how old girls are now days, they seem to mature physically so much sooner than we did. And most of their clothes are older looking styles now too, and I dont mean tarty clothes, just in general their gear seems older. I guess all we can do is advise our kids as best we can about sex and prayer they will have the good sense to wait till they are really adults. Boys as well as girls. |
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I'd expect him to face up to whats he's done but I'd feel like killing him at the same time for being so stupid .I know its hard these days to determine girls ages with how they dress and make up and stuff .I dont know what I'd do if the police knocked at the door shit that does'nt bear thinking about. I just have to hope I've brought up my kids to know better but who knows with all thats going on these days if there's drink involved and they're so pissed they don't know what they are doing I'm fooking scaring the shit out of my self thinking about this.hell I just have to hope my lot will act sensibly when the time comes....lettie |
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if it was my son no i wouldnt want him to shirk his responsibilities but i dont think too many in uk in those circumstances do get prosecuted i maybe wrong on this so correct me if i am wrong but i still think for the protection from perves it does need to stay at 16 i think it shouldnt be lowered i was one of the few who was over 16 first time i was 18 but i was a late beginer when it came to boys i do think though if a girl of 15 got pregnant by a boy of 19 and the boy did not know her true age then she needs to take responsibility as you all say alot of 15 yr old girls do look a lot older |
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I think that the legal age for sex with a minor should be changed to 16 here in Canada, although in the case of teens, I think no matter what the age they will still do it. All we can do is teach them safety, health issues, etc. I "fooled around" from age 11-12 and did the "whole enchilada" at 15 and got pregnant right away. In the case of pedofiles though, I think we need to be careful to protect our kids no matter what the age. |
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| | | From: ßratz | Sent: 3/22/2004 4:16 PM |
See, here, in Ontario anyway, the parents, nor the child has to press charges. The police do. And a doctor is required to report any instances of child abuse. Well, isn't statuatory rape the same as child abuse? I guess my big question is, how do we protect our children. Both the ones under legal age, and our 18-21 year olds who think they have the world figured out? Should there be an age gap there, that gives that allowance? Say more than 5 years? Or should it go on a case to case basis? And what of the girls who are too scared to charge, or the parents to embarassed? Should it be up to the police when to charge? Do you know what is scary, I think of these things all the time. I often think that if the age had been 14 instead of 16 here when I got pregnant, maybe Kayleigh's father wouldn't have skipped out completely, and maybe they woudl have a relationship. On the other hand, I think if legal age was 16 here now... well, I think there would be one less FW to carry around. If the cops did the charging, so much the better, as the parents woudln't have to be the bad guys all the time. I guess I was just wondering what your ideal law woudl be, to protect, and yet be reasonable. |
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i think it is difficult and teenagers will break the rules no matter what the age was but i think for protection wise 16 should be the legal age i have a friend who daughter is 15 and boyfriend who is 24 and she is quite happy about this her daughter says they have not slept together yet as he wants to wait till she 16 but i dont know if i would be happy if this was my daughter (who now is 16 of legal consent) as i would question why a 24 yr old would be interested in a 15 yr old but i do not think boys and girls of same age who have underage sex with each other should nessecary be prosecuted as they are both underage so are both not of age i suppose what i am trying to say is although not all teenagers abide by the law i think 16 is reasonable age for legal consent |
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| | | From: LINN1E | Sent: 3/24/2004 11:09 AM |
Ok my turn! lol, I'm in the UK so the legal age is 16, but I know my daughter did the deed, so to speak, a few months before her 16th b'day, which I have to say I was extremely dissapointed about, I did the dutiful mother thing and took her to the dr's for the morning after pill, but it took me a good week to really get over the fact it had happened, now almost a year later I know it's a regular occurence, though a different b/f, and though I wish she had waited, I know she is being responsible about it and am glad it's not something that's happening behind my back!. I was 16 my first time and although I don't regret not waiting, I wish some things had been different. My other concern at the moment is that my 13 yr old is going out with a 16 yr old, I have warned her not to be pressured into doing anything she doesn't want to and she's insisted she won't be, but who knows!?, all I can hope is that if anything happens she can tell me or her older sister!. I don't think the legal age should be lowered for sex, but do think all legal ages should be brought inline with each other, if that means making them all 17 or 18 then so be it!, but while kids are at school they are still kids, not adults!. Linnie xxx |
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The legal age here is 21, which sucks lol. But even though it is, kids find away around it. As for sex, we are gonna do it whether there is a legal age for it or not. It's everywhere. |
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