You asked: Will MSN be fixed today?

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

As Shakespeare wrote, 'There is a tide in the affairs of men which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune.' So if you're feeling damp, go for it!

You asked: how was deb's sex life last night?

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

42

How do you do a 42?

You asked: Have I found my mr right

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

Yes, absolutely! Remember -- he who hesitates is lost. Of course, so is he who refuses to stop and ask directions.

Ooooooooooh

You asked: is john gonna be lucky tonight

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

Looking good! By the way, would you mind moving slightly to your right? No, YOUR right.

You asked: should I let John be lucky tonight

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

Beats me...

what was that about beats

You asked: should I have a glass of wine?

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

The Shadow knows. Why don't you ask him?

You asked: Shadow...should I have a glss of wine?

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

Why does everyone always ask me that?

You asked: Because you're smart?

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

Success isn't permanent, and failure isn't fatal.

You asked: So should I then?

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

Beats me...

You asked: You're useless, I'll have a glass anyway...

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

I can't tell you.

You asked: should we party tonight

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

You asked: should we have wine

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

My lips are sealed. What a second...I'm a nine ball! I don't even have lips...

You asked: should we have beer

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

You asked: what about nibbles

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

You wouldn't understand.

You asked: what topic should i use for a quiz

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

Pretend you are a clam. See?

You asked: Will Gillian cook dinner tonight

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

If I told you, you'd just get upset again.

You asked: will hubby buy takeaway tonight

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

Opportunities are often disguised as hard work, which is why most people don't recognize them.

Does that mean I have to sleep with him first?

You asked: will my kids get to bed time with out fighting ?

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

You'll find the answer on page 27 of the book you're sitting next to.

You asked: what book

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

Klattu Veratta Nicto

 i dont have one like that will the Kama Sutra do ?

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

My reply is no. But George says 'yes'. But then, you know how unreliable George is.

You asked: Who`s George ?

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

Don't you know?

You asked: no thats why im asking ... have you a Georgina instead ?

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

As Laurence Sterne wrote, 'The desire of knowledge, like the thirst of riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it.' So I'm doing you a favor, and not answering.

You asked: Will John stop acting like a baby with his cold

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

Ever noticed that everybody wants to be somebody, but nobody wants to grow? 

You asked: So will he stop moaning

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

If I told you, you'd just get upset again

You asked: Will Gary go to Prison

The Magic 9 Ball replies:

Table 'humorscope.nineball_patterns' doesn't exist

Dammit....