HOW TO DRIVE A WOMAN CRAZY!

Leave the newspaper open to an ad for plastic surgery. . .

Never give her a straight answer.

Shrink her jeans and when she overreacts because she thinks that she's
gaining weight, smile sweetly and say that you prefer her with some meat
on her bones.

Superglue the toilet seat in the up position.

Buy her power tools for Valentine's Day, Birthday, and Christmas...

Call her by the dog's name... of course you'll deny it.

Firmly refuse to ever ask for directions even if you find yourself in
Georgia when your original destination was California.

Pretend you forgot how to speak English.

Take up yodeling and practice a lot.

Answer all her questions with a question, preferably one on a totally
different subject.

Answer every question with "Yes, dear." (Use with caution as PMS is now a
valid murder defense in many states.)

Call her by your mother's name... of course you'll deny it.

Start a conversation with the dog in the middle of one with her.