Our Little Haven

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

GEORGE W BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either
against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

MOHAMMED ALDOURI - Iraq Ambassador
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We do
not even have a chicken.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the eart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by
unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat
on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a
gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting
a government grant to cross
the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support
group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can
real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money
the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the 'other side'. That's what they call it, the ther side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens
until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases ike "the other side".

DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us
the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying exual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your mportant documents, and balance your checkbook, and internet explorer is a integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?

THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT
CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much
rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?

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