Ok..I may have mentioned this to a couple of you..but now I am going to share this with you all.
(Includes photos..which I am now going to post below..do not look if you are squeamish).
basically for 30 years I have sufferred a skin problem.
I have been told it is all my own fault..it is the itch-scratch-itch cycle.
I have argued this till i am blue in the face...becaue i am not a child who picks or a baby needing scratch mitts.I have always inssited I am allergic to something.No tests wre ever done but I have lived on steroids all those 30 years and I swear the continued use has affected my skin more.
Now yes I have my limbs and facilties..yes I can walk talk see and hear.
However noone will know the excrutiating pain I have sufferred..and the physcological effects this has.
I hate going to stay with folks because when I scratch..i cause bleeding and hotels..guesthouses ..are a problem..I need to take bedding with me.If I stay at a friends..I have to take zip zocs..body wraps and jogging suit to wear to bed..in fact I confess..i dont sleep..I stay up all night making sure I dont scratch!!
Life has become unbearable..I do not sleep in the same bed as my husband because I scratch till the bedding is covred in blood..I disturb Hubby and he has often ended up with my blood over him.
Why I am telling you all>>Isnt this a personal thing?/
yes.It is.
I am telling you because next wednesday I am going to Euston London to take part in a tv show called Embarrassing illnesses.
If I accept their offer to be televised on their 3rd series (starting new year)..
The second series I refused to go on because it would mean me going to TURKEY!!To take part in an experimental spa bath treatment with 7 others.(This programme is going out Oct 2nd on Mavericktc..)
Well in order for me to be prepared to go on tv and show my body..I need to start now..sharing the problem with others..so here I am sharing with you all first..to see if I can actually do this.
Th diagnosis has been
ezcema..psoriosis..then lichen disease..then chicken skin disease..then adfter 10 years told it is self inflicted.
It was not until I contacted Jas on embarrassing illnesses tv show that my own gp refferred me back to dermatology at Haslar military hospital for allergy tests.
(These were done last week..and I tell ya..they took phial after phial of blood..almost a half a pint..I never drank so much tea to build me back up again after!
On Oct 21st I am having yet more biopsies done because some time ago I had Bowens disease ( a pre-cancer) of the skin caused by a dark mole and then last Novmber I had a breast lump scare caused by one of these skin "spots/lumps infecting me in my Boob!!)I had a big piece removed and thought all was ok..until last week when the same lump appeared.
When a new doctor sees me..
(such as..I have scratched till I bled and ran into the nearest hospital casualty for zip zocs or dressings..they always say omg!1Looks like scabies!!Again when I went to the new doctors in Cotswolds (and they didnt have my notes..it was OMG!!Scabies!)..of course it is NOT scabies..I would be eaten alive by now..and have been treated WRONGLY with too much lyclear scabies treatment that it has poisoned my skin.
I can not work with food anymore ..I have just today had to phone and cancel a job position with a brain injured man..because I can not take the risk of going in a hydropool with him each day..due to the chemicals and unsightly skin problem.
All these things affect my life..so I am damned determined to prove that I am allergic to something (be it an additive..a colouring..or food.)
I am not prepared to be told I am some neurotic idiot who wants to scratch herself to death anymore.
The tens machine should be used for someone with severe pain..and not wasted on my skin pain when there is no need for me to be like this.
So there ya go..I confess!I am going to parade myself on national TV because I cant go into old age with this pain and sevre sores and rash.
Below are pictures of me..and that is the real me hidden under my clothes..and my face (although I can cover it with stage makeup..) it is now getting too severe to cover up.)
You may b wondering why am I going on tv??What about BB my daughter with her Lymphoedema?
Well she has also got an inteview with Embarrassing Illnesses and we await their decision.