Hi Frankie, my kids I know are still here but my daughter doesn't live with anymore so she seems to have lost her memory about how my life is, and then gets mad at me when I mess up. My son, who is 14, just wants to be a normal teenager and doesn't really understand what is going on in my body. The 2 yr old doesn't understand why I don't feel well almost all the time. He is the most difficult. I can't really do anything with him, like I was able to with the other kids until my other son was 4. I just get so depressed b/c I know how I used to be and now I can't even play with him, and how do you explain that to a 2 yr old. I try, I really do but after a certain amount of time I can't do it anymore and then he gets upset with me. Just trying to figure out things, just want to be normal again. Memories are fading fast of my old life, since it's been 10 yrs. Sometimes I just feel maybe they would be better off, but I do stop myself from thinking of that. I just don't want one day it to take me over. And without any family or friends it's hard to stay positive, God I'm only 40, and my life has changed terribly. I know I'm whining, but it's so hard to get up everday and say I can make it until he goes to sleep. |