Spiritualism & Mediumship Development Center

GAMES TO PLAY WHEN WE ARE OLDER
> 1. Sag, you're It.
>
> 2. Hide and go pee.
>
> 3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
>
> 4. Kick the bucket
>
> 5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
>
> 6. Musical recliners.
>
> 7. Simon says something incoherent.
>
> 8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy
>
>
> SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:
>
> 1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
>
> 2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
>
> 3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.
>
>
> OLD IS WHEN:
>
> 1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
>
> 2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just
> as long as you don't have to go along.
>
> 3. Getting a little action means I don't need fibre today.
>
> 4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
> 5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!
>
> THOUGHTS FOR A SLOW WEEK:
>
> Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up
> our life we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over?
>
> Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
>
> If raising children was going to be easy, it
> never would have started with something called labour!
>
> Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
>
> But Most Of All, Remember:
>
> A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra: Hard to
> Find, Supportive, Comfortable,
> And Always Close To Your Heart!
> ==============
>
>
> Ponderisms:
>
> I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
>
> Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to
> make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull
> on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
>
> The easiest way to find something lost around
> the house is to buy a replacement.
>
> Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
>
> In the 60's, people took acid to make the
> world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
>
> How is it one careless match can start a
> forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
>
> Who was the first person to look at a cow and
> say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'
>
> Who was the first person to say, 'See that
> chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.'
>
> If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is
> there a song about him?
>
> Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
>
> Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
>
> and finally:
>
> Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address ?
> huh, do ya???

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