The Anglian Connection

In the beginning God covered the earth with
broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables
of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created
Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with
that? And Man said, 'Yes!' And Woman said, 'I'll have one too with
chocolate chips'. And lo they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman
might keep the figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the
wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from
size 12 to size 14.

So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And
Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said 'I have sent you healthy
vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them'.

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king
prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it
needed its own platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low

copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds. God then
brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra
pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote
control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and
Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing
stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might
consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double
cheeseburger. Then Satan said 'You want fries with that?' and Man
replied, 'Yes, and super size 'em'. And Satan said, 'It is good.' And
Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed ......... and created quadruple
by-pass surgery.

And then ............ Satan chuckled and created
the National Health Service.

THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive review of the research
literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health.:

1.     Japanese eat very little fat and suffer
fewer heart attacks than us.
2.   Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer
heart attacks than us.
3.   Chinese drink very little red wine and
suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4.   Italians drink excessive amounts of red
wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5.   Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages
and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
6.    The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese
and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

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