The Anglian Connection

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Oh! Its not THAT page 3!!

oh well, back to the last page then _Page 2

Page 3............no not page 3, lol..............sorry chaps not putting any nerrrrrrrrrrrrked ladies on the page three foryeh...teehee.

Anways, as everyone was looking towards the horizon yelling in unison, is it a bird.....no,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,is it a super elf..........no, maybe whizz............nope, it's a plane, lol...a boootiful pea green plane flown by Cappson, the new recruit to the British Navy. Wonders if Boy Wonder can resuce this nutty crowd?..........

Too be continued, waits with baited breath..teehee

The pea green plane, piloted by Cappson approaches the group on there little man-made island. Decending slowly to just above Elfy's head, and stopped, yes, stopped. Did I forget to mention that this section is bought to you care of Matrix special effects. So the plane stopped, it was Elfy's Magic Pea Green plane, and it could stop if it wanted to . Everyone climbed onboard coz tho it looked small on the outside, there was lots of space on the inside. Then the plane Started again and sped off into the distance, heading towards.........

Christmas Island, as Christmas was getting quite close. All the pals wanted to be there on time to celebrate together. Luckily, Cappsson had arranged with Capplett to stock the craft with holiday fare. Egg nog, Whisky, Brandy, Wine, Champagne, choccies, and a nice Ham with all the trimmings to enjoy. Capplett being the smart gal she is also packed up pressies for one and all! (I will have to find out later how she got all the booze, being under age and all!) Will Cappson get them to Christmas Island on time?..........

... "There it is !!" shouted the group excitedly, accidentally shoving cappson's face into the steering contraption with their multitudinous elbows ..... and quite forgetting that the pilot needs to see too !!

"But look ............ it's .... it's Summer there on Christmas Island ....... barmy weather huh ?" Elf, already on the island, courtesey the elfcopter, used his magic radio control box to guide the elfplane to land ... reasonably safely ... well you know what he's like with his spells lol. His new cleaner, Summer, was already hard at work, scrubbing the landing site, and got blown away .. literally, by the arrival of our intrepid group.

The Capps tribe set about unloading the Christmas goodies, after they'd let the passengers esca... erm disembark ..... but oh dear .... alas alack .... Spot the Dog had already ...........

.............had already unloaded the supplies...into.... oh dear his stomach...

hmmm at this point Summer races over........and keeps going...racing past the intrepid group and plunging them yet again into winter darkness..

they shiver and grope around... and suddenly....Capplet lets out a bloodcurdling scream....

....(which makes her feel a lot better..she had wanting to blood let for some time now) which wakes her fellow clans people up..and lo in the ensuing chaos they spy................

Well, seeing as Spot the Dog was Capps in disguise, the only food in Spot's tummy was the Choccy desserts! In all the choas they spy a small cheery green fellow! Elf was carting away all the goodies that Spot hadn't eaten, to his little mushroom he had built on Christmas Island. And a very nice mushroom it was too! Lesson of todays story.......Where ever there is food, Elfy is sure to be around! The question is what will Elf do with the food............will he eat it all.......will he share......or will he through a big wild New Years party? Are the pals destine to starve on Christmas Island.....stay tuned for the next thrilling installment......

Don't be silly .... of course Elf will eat all the food and we'll starve .............. unless ................

Yesssssssssss we're saved ! it's the pirate ship cap'n'd by jolly roger ...thought he was up the flagpole but who's picky when the cannon are firing lemon meringue pies at us yaaaaaaaaaaay!!! Nooooooooo we don't want to be pressganged tho - hang on ..... aaargggggggh nooooooo who will save us ? this is getting a bit tricky innit ?

[This section has been sponsored by - Classic FM's music for Mouthwashing - 32 Tracks You Can Gargle To - Available in all bargain rubbish skips now] ...Even better, it turns out to be a ship in a bottle. A very large bottle still full of alcoholic slurps to keep us mentally afloat. Much better than sailing in saltwater and seaweed. That reminds me of someone who showed me a submarine in a milk bottle. I couldn't see it 'coz it was hiding under the milk but I thought I saw a periscope when I went to pour some over my- (Gerronwivit yer eejit! - asheepdog Ed) -oh yes, so there were we -under attack from kiwi fruit 'n' nuts (but not the choccy kind - shame...) when we were picked up - which is odd because we didnt have a radio, but elf did have a squeaky toy bath duck - but that lost it's squeak when sheepdog had a defra (shurely you mean daft? - asheepdog Ed) moment and thought that she were a sheep-culling-gundog. Anyhoo - the meringues were flying towards us, and our defences were poor - we only had synthetic cream - a bit like shaving foam, but with less flavour. A showdown was beckoning and it seemed like high noon, which is odd, because our watches were set to low midday.

So...will we be pressganged or will someone finally find the steam iron? Is that a really a large meringue hovering over us, or is it inter-galatic pizza delivery? Or will it end with us all getting creamed?...

"Intergalactic Pizza Delivery ? €lf really shouldnt be using the comm credit card again", shrieked the motley gathering ... ah well, it's done now ... let's tuck in before he comes back and scoffs the lot! Errrrrm what's that strange green pulsating light coming from under the intergalactic delivery vehicle ? Oh, a lift to The Lake District? Well that's gotta be closer to where we were heading at the start of this rambling tale! Beam us up Scotty! Ooooooooooooooooer called the gang ... what a strange experience this is... we've all turned elvish green. They all looked up and there was Alien Mark waiting to welcome us aboard. With an alien weapon! Nooooooooooo it's all a trick - it's Domino's Pizza and we're being enslaved to work in their kitchens ...will we ever get to our destination now ? and will QB leave those pork scratchings temptingly laid out as bait ? For the next gripping installment .........

They want someone to w-o-r-k in the kitchen at Domino's Pizza? Well sign me up!

Oh my Gawd! Is it really 5 years since I was last here?

Yup, seems a like a lifetime, eh Jim? And so the intrepid gang, beating Badger off the pork scratchings with a joss stick, and rescuing Elf from the pizza kitchens - remarkably reluctant to be rescued, he was, too! - were welcomed by Mark, not an alien but in green alien disguise - he's really Mark 007, secret agent, come to retrieve from Pog (003.5), the Amstrad de-coder that he nicked from HQ ! "You have to grow up a bit first, Pog, or at least attain level 003.8 before you can use that" said Mark in his best chastising tone, looking down his nose (and arm, as Pog's a bit on the small side). "Where are you lot off to?" asked Mark, and the gang all yelled "Bristol" <see page 1, when the plot was young>. "Too bad, said Mark, "We're heading for Kendal". "Oooooo000000ooooooooh" yodelled Badger "Mint Cake - yummmmmmmm" and he licked his bristly whiskers in anticipation. "Well, that's closer to home than we've been so far" chorused the rest! And without further ado, Mark 007 set course, using the alien-like controls, for the North West of UK. However, as the intrepid bunch have already discovered, the course of this plot is tortuous, to say the least, so they weren't unduly alarmed when ......

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