The following are ACTUAL answers given by contestants on "Family Fortunes", a television quiz in the UK. The contestants have to give answers that they think members of the public are most likely to have given to the same questions...

Q. Name something a blind person might use
 A. A sword
Q. Name a song with moon in the title
A. Blue Suede Moon
 Q. Name a bird with a long neck
A. Naomi Campbell
Q. Name an occupation where you need a torch
 A. A burglar
 Q. Name a famous brother and sister
 A. Bonnie & Clyde
Q. Name a dangerous race
A. The Arabs
Q. Name an item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers
 A. A horse
Q. Name something that floats in the bath
A. Water
Q. Name something you wear on the beach
 A. A deckchair
Q. Name something Red
 A. My cardigan
Q. Name a famous royal
 A. Mail
Q. Name a number you have to memorise
A. 7
Q. Name something in the garden that's green
 A. Shed
Q. Name something that flies that doesn't have an engine
A. A bicycle with wings
Q. Name something you might be allergic to
A. Skiing
Q. Name a famous bridge
A. The bridge over troubled waters
Q. Name something a cat does
A. Goes to the toilet
 Q. Name something you do in the bathroom
A. Decorate
Q. Name an animal you might see at the zoo
A. A dog
 Q. Name something associated with the police
 A. Pigs
Q. Name a sign of the zodiac
A. April
Q. Name something slippery
 A. A conman
 Q. Name a kind of ache
 A. Fillet 'O' Fish (?)
 Q. Name a food that can be brown or white
 A. Potato
Q. Name a jacket potato topping
 A. Jam
Q. Name a famous Scotsman
A. Jock
 Q. Name something with a hole in it
A. Window
Q. Name a non-living object with legs
A. Plant
Q. Name a domestic animal
 A. Leopard
Q. Name a part of the body beginning with 'N'
 A. Knee
 Q. Name a way of cooking fish
A. Cod
 Q. Name something you open other than a door
 A. Your bowels
Q. Name something you play with when you're nervous
 A. The violin (of course)