Subject: A Cardioligist's Funeral
 

One of the city's top cardiac specialists died.
At his funeral, his coffin was placed in front of a huge
replica of a heart made of red roses.
When the pastor finished the sermon and everyone said
their good-byes, the large heart opened up, the coffin rolled inside,
and the heart closed again.
It was a majestic tribute to the much-loved cardiologist.
Suddenly, one of the mourners burst into a fit of laughter.
Irritated by his insensitivity, the man sitting next to him asked,
"Why are you laughing, Mister?"
"I was just thinking about my own funeral,"
the man replied. "I'm a gynaecologist."

 

Three couples are about to play golf: an Engish couple, an Irish couple and
a Scottish couple.

The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place
her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of
underwear.

"Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband
demanded.

"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any."

The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the >sake
of decency, heres £50! . Go and buy yourself some underwear."

Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt
also blows up to show that she is wearing no undies.

"Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?"

She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me."

He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's £20.
Go and buy yourself some underwear!"

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over
her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.

"Sweet mudder of Jesus, Aggie! Where the frig are yer drawers?"

She too explains, "You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd
any."

The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, "Well, fer the love 'o
Jasus, 'n the sake of decency, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit."