The Anglian Connection

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Having regained his senses, or what pass for senses in this thrill a minute fantasy, Jimbob gathers the underwear together and is immediately assailed by an aroma reminiscent of an unemptied Port-a-loo at the end of a four day Rock Festival. Deciding to reliquish his sense of smell and sense of reality our hero (Well he's my hero anyway, so there!) resists the urge to wash, iron, fold and place the underwear neatly in the Harrier's airing cupboard and rushes to the front room where he retrieves his sewing kit stored nicely in an old Danish All Butter Cookie tin (and very nice they were too thanks). He then proceeds to extract all the elastic from the underwear and using a neat running stitch learned at his mummy's knees, when she was sewing up his mouth to stop him crying and eating, fashions a parachute (ta da). Resisting all attempts to stop him Jimbob steps out of the Harrier onto the garden path and strolls to the rear of the stricken aircraft. He admires the flora and fauna in the garden and stops briefly at the garden shed where he extracts a deck chair, sits and enjoys what could be his last rollie. (Before you lot complain about airing cupboards, front rooms, garden paths, sheds etc in a Harrier, this is my part of the fantasy and I've read enough Spike Milligan to know what is and isn't possible, so there! Ya boo sucks to you!) Throwing away his dog end Jimbob proceeds to tie the improvised parachute to the rear of the Harrier carefully avoided burns on his posterior from the jet exhaust. "OK," he shouts "you can run out of fuel now, I'm leaving this story for a while to think about underwear again"

SPECIAL ANNOUCEMENT.

In view of the fact that Jimbob is covered in underwear (yet again!) his further participation in this story will be delayed until sufficient time has elapsed to allow his heart rate to return to something like it's correct level. This may well occur when he comes out of his fantasy...

AT this point jimbob was pushed to the open door which was open last person in for got shut grrrrr ooops (it was me) I cant go out there with no aids shouted jimbob A rope A rope he shouted.

All aboard started undressing and throwing various bits of underwear at jim (our hero) to tie in a line (it was noticed that leafy had very little to contribute) he

started towards the door,,,,,,,

"Don't panic" interrupted Tiger, "I radioed for a refuelling plane to meet us here, been running on vapour for the last 45 minutes!�?/SPAN>

“Two fings I fink I should point out tho�?

“Firstly I’ve never refuelled the right way up, let alone upside down before.

Secondly Kav said I gotta have this thing back on the ATC Forecourt before the Friday evening meeting�?/SPAN>

“Oh! He mentioned something else about this plane too, didn’t quite catch it all coz of the noise, but I heard something about AIRWORTHY while kav was shaking his head!

Tiger became very quiet as he linked with the refuelling plane and shouted in the radio (Actually a walky talky supplied by the sponsors of this section of the story, A. Daley Electricks UnLtd) “FILL ‘ER UP�?/SPAN>

Just as the refuelling plane started to move away a loud thud was heard, like something landing on the top (Underside) of the Plane. “Anyone any good at wing walking,�?said Tiger. “Only they said they had a spare copy of the aircraft manual I could borrow�?/SPAN>

Everyone stopped talking and gasped. And then…�?

To be wassanamed�?.

Everyone sighed with relief ....... not that they doubted Phil's ability to produce a life-saving vessel (nooooooo !!), more that a fast jet seemed a better option .... having heard vague rumours of cannibalistic tendencies by certain cast members ... no names, no pack drill hehe.

Anyway ...... a ladder appeared from beneath the Harrier ..... (courtesy of B & Q, rival contractors to QB enterprises grrrrrrr) but ... this is not the time to be picky (no allusion to Phil's nose, btw). "All aboard the jet, imbeciles and animals first", shouted Tiger above the roar of the jet engines, and so it was.

As they sailed up into that grey yonder, they all looked up (showing off, Tiger had decided to do a victory roll, but lost the manual for righting the plane after - "Oi, that's not till my next flying lesson anyway", said Tiger) to see the boat sinking fast .... nay scuttling. They all wondered if it might have been safer to go down with the ship.

At this point, it was decided, by unanimous vote, to set course for America, by the longest route possible, in order to postpone an upside-down landing ....... radio-ing on ahead to Capps for emergency landing gear, in the form of a gigantic muffin (recipe generously donated by Missy). They all then settled up in their seats and safety harness to enjoy the ride for as long as it seemed safe.

Suddenly, from over the horizon loomed .........................

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