The Saga of Piddling Pete
A champion sheepdog came to stay,
His name was Piddling Pete.
He challenged all the other dogs
His proudest claim to beat;
Then Spot and Floss and Sweep and Nell
and even Old Kep's ghost
watched him piddle on his master's boots
as he stepped up to the post.
He piddled on the outrun,
the lift, and then the fetch;
the gates around the driving course
were his watering targets next.
He piddled round the shedding ring
before the shed and pen;
he singled with consummate ease,
then piddled off again.
The points he scored were watered down
to match his watering ways,
but when the trial was over
he piddled up a haze.
Old Floss and Nell and Sweep and Spot
could not believe their eyes,
his piddling was remarkable
(though his work was otherwise).
He didn't win at Ickworth,
at Holkham or the rest,
but when it came to piddling
there's no doubt he was the best.
The other dogs, quite envious,
watched his piddling with dismay
For though Old Sweep won the Trialling Cup
Pete was champion of the day.
Said Sweep "Old Pete has left us now,
His piddling did defeat us,
But, poor ole dog, his secret's out -
The Champ's got diabetes!"
anon - adapted by a sheepdog