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| 1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
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13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
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14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
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15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
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16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as
much as the other sports watchers.
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17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
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18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
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19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
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20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
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21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights: a) Yeah, Baby, Push it! b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder! c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
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22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an
almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
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23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
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24: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
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25: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
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26: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever. We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below: "GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?" "BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the a** and having the balls to say, "You're next!"
We hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Manhood, Ltd
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