Handparting
In this age of divorce and multiple marriages, a Handparting can be as important as a Handfasting. Handfasting is not just a religious ceremony, it is also a magickal binding of two people to each other, for whatever span of time they have chosen. When a relationship ends, a magickal unbiding is in order, to help bring closure to the couple.
Sometimes, in the case of acrimonious divorce (or possibly also if the partner dies), it is not possible for both parties to be present at a Hanparting. The ceremony should still be done with the other partner speaking their peace to the absent partner. This is a magickal severing of the ties that were magickally bound in the Handfasting. This ceremony is not a time for acrimony and recrimination. It is a sacrd magickal act, tellign the Gods, witnesses, and the former partners that they are no longer partners, that each has chosen to go their own separate way. No fault is assigned, no blame is laid. The rings may be removed, but each should retain their own.
If there are children involved, they may or may not be included in the ritual, according to age as the parents wish. The parents may want to make a promise to the children that they will always be loved and cared for, that even though the parents are no longer married, the children will always be loved, cared for, and valued.
This is one ritual which probably does not end with a shared feast.
Some Notes on Handparting:
The Handparting is performed backwards. Ill will is swept away from the couple, still joined by the knot; they jump the broom backward (a traditional action), and in the opposite direction; They then sever or untie the knot and part hands.The rings may be removed , though not exchanged. You might give each partner half the severed wedding cord to do with as they will. Some will burn the cord to symbolize the end of the relationship. Some may save their half in rememberance of the relationship. What each partner does with their half is their business, and should be saved for a further private ceremony.
In the case of a Handparting with an absent partner, the absent partner's half cord could be sent to them, to symbolize that the Handparting was performed. If one partner is dead , their half cord could be buried with them, or kept as a keepsake of the relationship. Sometimes a stand-in for the absent partner can be used. Ideally this would be either the bride's Maid or the Best Man who was present at the original Handfasting. Otherwise a High Priest or High Priestess could take the part.
When you perform a wedding , your responsibility does not end with the ceremony or reception. As Officiant, you are responsible for that couple's joining . Hopefully you are also able to help if that couple runs into trouble down the road, usually in the form of advice or counselling. Sometimes you can point the couple to other resources if your skills are not adequate to deal with whatever problem presents itself. And sometimes it comes in the form of being able to perform a Handparting, if requested. YTou can't always keep track of the people you have married , but it is your responsibility to try your best. In performing the Handfasting , your energies are also bound up in the partnership.