Yippeeee!!!! Tonight is the big movie date. Half of Salem High is going to be there! It feels like we’ve been getting ready for this outing for, like, four weeks!! Isn’t that crazy? I mean, a bunch of dumb kids going to the movies surely couldn’t be worth FOUR WEEKS of dramatic build-up could it? I mean, what could happen with a bunch of teenagers at a freakin’ movie that would be so dramatic? Someone chokes on a JuJuBee? LOL! Of course, I suppose when Susan is involved choking is always a possibility!
We are going to see “That New Action Movie That Everyone Is Talking About.” That is actually the name of it! I hope it’s as good as when we went to see “That New Horror Movie.” I haven’t shown my little Jannie Poo a night on the town since we got back from Puerto Rico yesterday? Isn’t that amazing? Today we had a blizzard and yesterday we were all in strappy sandals and halter tops and hot pants.....oh wait! That was just me! LOL! But the girls were wearing skimpy clothes and Shawn and Brady were wearing tank tops........tight sweaty tank tops! Tight sweaty tank tops that accentuated their muscles like a second skin as they ran up and down the basketball court...back and forth....back and forth! Oh crap! I was daydreaming again. Where was I....oh yeah! Jannie Poo has been such a pill since coming back from PR. She is always hanging out with Shawn Brady but that’s okay because it gives me an excuse to hang out with Shawn Brady too! I hope Jan wants to make out at the movies tonight. I just love kissing girls. Girls girls girls!!! That’s all I think about. THat and sweaty tank tops running back and forth...back and forth...
So I hope “That New Action Movie That Everyone Is Talking About” is really really good. Maybe next week we can go see “That New Brad Pitt Movie”. I like Brad Pitt! I think we are also planning to bring our new hands-free cell phones that were given to us by Nokia. Clarity. Quality. Value. That’s the Nokia Way. Nokia Hands-free phones make the perfect gift this holiday season! (this message paid for by Nokia Hands-free phones)
Anyway, I better wrap this up. I have to run to DotCom, pick up that new Brittany Spears album, bring it back home and hide the disc inside my Kid Rock album so no one will see it, and go pick up my sexy sweetie Jan. I hope we get there early so I can score a seat by Shawn. But I hope he doesn’t sit there and make out with Belle all night, that filthy slut!! I hate hate hate her!!!!!

 

Jason’s Journal:  Movie date was a bust!

Well, the movie was cancelled.  Boy was I bummed!! They told us why but I was
so busy looking at Kevin’s butt that I didn’t hear.  I was looking at Kevin’s
butt because he had, uh, popcorn!! Yeah, popcorn!! All over his butt!! I also
didn’t get to make out with my sweet little Jannie Poo which made me mad.   But
I didn’t complain too much because I  did get to see Shawn Brady even though he
was with Belle.  That little strumpet!!!!
Phillip was with Cynthia and boy were they ever into each other.  Cynthia
dropped her purse and I sneaked a peak at her driver’s license.  Would you
believe she is actually 32??!!!   I guess that would explain the tatoo and that
deep hacking smoker’s cough she has.   Chloe sure wasn’t excited to see Phillip
but what was she complaining about?  She was with Brady!!  I have spent hours in
the bathroom trying to get my makeup to look like hers but I just can’t make my
eyes look that big!!   I think the secret must be to take all of the makeup you
own in the entire world and put all of it on your face at one time!  If you can
sractch an inch deep groove on your cheek, you are getting close.  I should just
ask her to show me what she does but, you know, it might seem kind of weird.
All of this makeup stuff is important though, since I am going to that audition
for Gypsy this week and I just know if I can get the right look down I can
convince Mr. Woods that a man should play the lead roll!  I have been practicing
my “Let Me Entertain You” routine ever since I was in Puertio Rico.  Of course,
I was so drunk then that I didn’t get very far.  But as soon as the swelling in
my cerebrum went  down and those detox tremors gave me back the use of my legs,
I was back at it!!  I just know I will get that part!!  I think the worst thing
that could happen would be to get cast in the show and then have my part bumped
down to recurring status!  That would just suck!! I’ve heard that that can
happen.  You are on stage all the time and suddenly you just stop showing up and
no one knows where you went.  I heard that when Laura Horton and Celeste
Perrault were in high school, the same thing kept happening to them!!
spooooooky........   Oh, well.  Gotta go practice.  “Let me entertain you, let
me see ya smile.  I can do a few tricks, some old and then some new tricks, I’m
very versatile...Shawn Brady!!! “ LOL!!