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Workshop Board : FEAR OF CPOING WITH THINGS WE CAN,T CONTROL
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 Message 1 of 4 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameRUSTY9120  (Original Message)Sent: 4/22/2006 10:25 AM
A LOT OF ABUSE SUFFERERS , ARE CONTROL FREAKS, (SPECIALY ME) ....BUT  THIS COMES FROM ABUSE WHERE WE WERE IN A POSITION OF " NO POWER" SO AFTER WE FEEL A NEED TO CONTROL EVENTS IN OUR LIVES.    TROUBLE IS, SOME THINGS WE CAN,T CONTROL, IE; DEATH, LOSS OF A LOVED ONE, EITHER THROUGH DEATH OR SIMPLY THEY WALK AWAY. SO WHEN COTROL GIVES US SECURITY , HOW DO WE COPE WITH THINGS THAT , COULD WOULD , MAY , HAPPEN? IN SHORT WE CAN,T...... BUT..... WHAT WE CAN DO IS RATIONALISE. OK SOUNDS EASY, IT,S SOOOO DARNED HARD BUT IT CAN BE DONE. TAKE ME, ( NOOO OH GO ON LOL)) MY 1ST HUSBAND DIED OF A 1 IN 3MIILION TYPE OF CANCER, IT WAS THE WORST, NOW.... SIMPLY TYPING THE WORD BRINGS ME OUT IN A SWEAT, BUT I COPE . HOW ??? BY TAKING ALL LOGICAL PRECAUTIONS, THEN ADMITTING I CAN DO NO MORE!! THEN USING RATIONALITY. .... FOR INSTANCE WE KNOW IT,S GOING TO SNOW IN WINTER , NOW WE CAN DO 2 THINGS , WE CAN TELL OURSELVES" OH GOD , WHAT IFIT FREEZES SO BAD I CAN,T GET OUT,? WHAT IF I GET SNOWED IN ? WHAT IF THE SHOPS CAN,T GET SUPPPLIES?" IN OTHER WORDS WE CAN FEED OUR FEARS,    OR OPTION 2.     WE TAKE SENSIBLE PRECAUTIONS, WE ENSURE OUR PATH IS KEPT CLEAR, WE KEEP IN CANDLES EXTRA FOOD ECT....... THEN...... WE ACCEPT SOME THINGS ARE BEYOND OUR CONTROL, LIKE THE OLD A.A PRAYER, "HELP ME TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE" OPTION 2 GIVES US SOME FREEDOM SOME RELEASE , FROM OUR FEARS, BY USING COMMON SENSE TO ENSURE WE TAKE SENSIBLE PRECAUTIONS, THEN LETTTING GO OF OUR FEARS , IE; .. HANDING OVER TO A HIGHER BEING, THEN WE CAN FIND A MEASURE OF  PEACE.      ANOTHER WAY , IS BY SHARING OUR DEEPEST FEARS, THIS WAY WE REALISE , OTHERS ALSO OFTEN SHARE WHAT TO US APPEARS """MASSSIVE""FEARS . HOPE THIS HELPS , RUSTY


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 Message 2 of 4 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameFaith_On_A_CloudSent: 4/23/2006 8:26 AM
Just read this and realised something.
Its the "what Ifs "
What if i cant, what if this, what if that.
There really is no point to what ifs, they can control your life worse than any human can, they can make you paranoid to a point that you make the what ifs, reality.

What ifs should be banned from our vocabulary.

Thanks Rusty, youve opened my eyes.
Forget the What ifs, live your life.

Sue

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 Message 3 of 4 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknameaboora5Sent: 4/23/2006 10:35 AM
hi rusty
 
after reading your thoughts on fear, thanks.
I believe now, because we cannot be in control of a situation automatically fear kicks in. Listen got a song for you LESSONS TO BE LEARNED  BARBARA STREISAND brilliant lyrics uplifting as well.
 
cheers
aboora
 

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 Message 4 of 4 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameRUSTY9120Sent: 4/23/2006 11:18 AM
OUR (((SUE))) AND OUR(((ABOORA))) YESSSSSSSS, YOU GOT IT WELL DONE GO GIRLS  Rainbow  






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