Hi all. I'm rapidly approaching the end of my 6th decade and am happily single.
I was an abused child, mentally, physically and sexually. I married young and found myself in a relationship with a man not dissimilar to my step-father. I had a daughter who died at the age of 6 in a motor accident. A couple of years later my son (now 31) was born. My husband was abusive and I found the courage to leave and returned to England (from Australia).
I married again in 1980 and, although my 2nd husband was not abusive, he was emotionally cold. I, had not fully recovered from my abusive past and did not find it easy to articulate my feelings or know how to resolve the difficulties that my past and my husbands prejudices created.
Suffice to say that this marriage also eventually ended and I found the time and space to be with myself and start to work on my issues. I studied psychology and obtained my Masters degree. I followed this with a further degree in Therapeutic Counselling. I have worked extensively and successfully for a number of years with people from abused backgrounds, couples counselling and also with drug and alcohol problems as they affect both the user and those around them. I also work with children who are experiencing behavioural difficulties for a number of reasons. My counselling approach is humanistic and makes use of gestalt, existential and inner child aspects of therapy. I have recently completed further studies and, this week, attended my graduation as a DClinPsy (Doctor of Clinical Psychology).
I have come a long way since those terrible childhood years and the impact that had on the types of relationships I entered into in my 20's and 30's. Why have I told you of my success now? Because, like each one of you, I struggled and struggled for such a long time. I recall the fear, the doubt, the lack of self worth ... even moments of such intense despair that I became actively suicidal in my thoughts and actions. However, the moment that I allowed myself to reach out, to open myself to the help that was offered by others, to begin to speak of all I had experienced and found myself not being judged, but cared for .... then ... yes, then I began to blossom and became all that I am today. My studies not only helped me to understand myself but also gave me the tools to turn my experiences into effective help for others. I became empowered.
May all who read this, find their own empowerment, and in doing so, find their joy and love of life as fulfilling as I find mine.