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| | From:  RUSTY9120 (Original Message) | Sent: 2/26/2007 10:37 AM |
OK WE ARE GOING ALONG FINE, WHEN OUT OF THE BLUE, SOMETHING OR ONE, PUSHES US BACK , SO WHAT DO WE DO, WELL HERES MY BIT...........GET PEN AND PAPER , GO SOMEWHERE YOU CAN BE ALONE TOILET IF NEEDED, ASK SELF WHAT IS IN THIS TRIGGER THAT IS LIKE THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN PAST, HOW DID YOU DEAL WITH IT THEN ? ....NOW HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH IT NO WITH ALL THE NEW KNOWLDGE YOU HAVE GAINED???????OK THAT,S MY BIT.... |
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Wish is was that simple, so much gone on before, so many triggers, a song, a feeling, a date, anything and everythng.
Find myself going backwards when i should be going forwards, thought id left it all behind.
Now im being told i put everything and everyone in boxes.
Dont know why or even how i do this, cant recognise what im doing.
I like my life organised, never really organised my own life before, always had i done for me.
Need to discuss this with him, am i doing it all wrong? if so how and why.
Apparently im a control freak, i try to control everything in my life,perhaps thats the residue of being controlled all my life, as far as i see it im trying to live my life, but then prhaps that is control, i really dont understand.
Confused.
Sue |
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| Just thought of something, if i am doing this and if this is really my life, how do i break that cycle? |
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((sue)) been accused of this myself, so i know how confusing this is , but my therapist pointed out a few simple things to me, 1. how do you spot a control freak , unless you know all the moves yourself? 2, abuse comes in many forms , sometimes it,s underminding all we say, do, think, .......till we get soooooo confused we simply do as we are told, love been there got t shirt, if you speak your truth honestly from the heart , is that control??? me , i found when i was being accused over all this it was because , .....he...... had a low oppinion of himself, and needed to bring me down to his level, now comeon sue........ your doing well in work, your honest , kind , will help anyone , ok your straight , but that,s not control , pointing out someones weak spots until they don,t know what they are doing is.....xxxxsis |
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Well, ive decided what im gonna do, ping the light goes on.
Im gonna let him live his life as he wants to, im gonna do his washing and cook his meals other than that im not gonna do bugger all.
Ive decided that im not clearing up after him, anything he uses he can put away himself, so i dont put it in a box, he can put it away, he can go on the pc as much as he wants, i will show no interest whatsoever, that way i cant be accused of checking up on him, im gonna ask everytime i want or need anything, im gonna revert back to how i was when we 1st met, he hated that but thats what its gonna be like, ask permission for everything, that way i cant be accused of trying to take control.
Oh trust me it wont last long, he wants to play games, i can to.
He doesnt want me to be independant, to have a life or to worry about what hes doing in his, then so be it, for now, he will trip up and when he does, ill be there.
Games? i havnt even started.
Sue |
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Control freak my arse.....sorry to be blunt, but what he really means is...you should put up with what ever he wants to do and not complain about it.....he's trying to blame you and make out its you and not him at fault....don't let him make you feel that its you. He's trying to make you feel insecure....don't fall for it. I've just had all this off my him this weekend and believe me it didn't work. You take care Sue Love ya Bev x x x |
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(((((SUE)))) 1ST SOOOOOO DARNED GOOD TO SEE YOU ANGRY, INSTEAD OF DEPRESSED, I THINK THE LIGHT WENT ON GIRL  USE WHATEVER STRATERGY WORKS , MIND LIKE BEV I TEND NOT TO AGREE WITH AGREEING WITH HIM, ....WHY IN HELL , NOT JUST BE SUE???? ONLY APOLOGISING IF YOU KNOW YOUR WRONG, AFTER ALL HE MARRIED SUE, SO WHO THE HELL , TURNED HER INTO ONE CONFUSED LADY, .........? THE SUE WE LOVE , IS HONEST , SOMETIMES TOO MUCH FOR COMFORT BUT , IF WE HAVE ANY GUTS WE LISTEN COS SHE,S ALWAYS RIGHT ! FUNNY , A WICKED SENSE OF HUMOUR, 100% SUPPORTIVE, OK NOW SOMEONE TELL ME WHATS SO BAD ABOUT OUR SUE ??? |
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Theres nothing wrong or bad about our sue,.....but sue, you need to realise this. You are a beautiful person, caring , thoughtful, honest, trustworthy and much, much more......believe in yourself and not what he tells you to believe. You're worth a million of him. He's playing the manipulation game. Says you put everything in a box.......I'd like to put him in a box and nail it shut for how he's making you feel....got any nails Rusty!!!! You take care Sue, time you put you first babe. Love Bev x x x |
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now wheres that ruddy hammer ???? 
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