i,m back in the hole again, can,t even talk to my dear ones , i,m full of bitterness toward my mother, how can a mum not love a child ?? but eureka ... i think i know whats happening, as a child i couldn,t make sense of my life , with my mothers attitude toward me, ( total rejection yet living in the same house) so i felt , unsure , scared , all on edge constantly, ..... now once again mike and i are doing something at our age, that makes me feel scared and unsure, and on edge, so ......the patterns back , once more i see my mother, i hear all her criticism , her sneers, taunts, well , i,m going to try this time so hard to realise that was then .......this is now , ok i may fall on my bum, but it,s my choice , my responsability , mums gone. so i aim for the moon , i can only fall among the stars .rusty ps: i need a hug .... |