Hi..
As many of you here know, I'm not really one for writing on here about whats going on for me! probably not really a good thing to do, but its all I'm used to. I bottle everything up inside and to let it out is just to painful. I am also a survivor just like all of you and I find things a bit tough sometimes as well.
At the moment I am having some pretty nasty dreams, where I think I'm about 7 or 8 yr old, the things I see in these dreams is making me think that my original memories are not quite right, I beleived the Sexual Abuse started at the age of about 14yr, now I'm not so sure?
In one flashback recently I was wearing a dress that I believe I had when I was about 10yr old? how can that be? It's tearing me apart to think that this could have been happening at such a young age, why can't I remember more? I need to know how old I was when he first started this on me, I Know he was sexually abusing my sister from the age of about 6yr, did he start on me at that age as well?
I have just finished things with my original therapist, as I felt she wasn't helping me any, if we touched on a tough subject and I started to get upset she would change the subject like she couldn't handle it? and often make stupid comments like 'are you sure it wasn't a drunken fumble' etc.. I have found someone new nearer to the new house and saw her last week for the first time, I think maybe this time I will actually have someone who is able to handle it, and will get me talking.. I'm not very good at talking about myself, I need a push! hopefully she'll give me that eh!..
Sorry to dump all this on you all, but I needed to get it out somehow and at least you can't see me as I write this....
Kathy
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