I've been thinking about my mum alot just lately. She was a very brave woman, she fought cancer for six years, not for herself, but for us, her children. She got cancer when I was about 10 yrs old, my brothers were 6,7 and 12. She taught us everything we would need to know for when she was no longer around....cooking, cleaning, ironing etc, at that time we didn't realise she was dying, so to us it didn't seem fair that while our friends were out playing we were stuck in the house doing house work, we were kids so I guess thats how kids look at it. As she got more and more ill I realised she'd been preparing us for life without her, she'd got her head screwed on my mum.
In the evenings we would hear her crying with the pain, but not once did she ever moan or complain about what she was going through. One night I was helping you get to the bathroom, I had to let go of you at the bottom of the stair so I could switch the light on, as soon as I let go you fell to the floor, cancer had eaten away at your thigh bone and it just snapped in half. All the pain you were in and all you were bothered about was that I didn't blame myself for what happened.
My grandad used to visit you at night ( he'd passed away 6 months earlier) he'd say come on lass fight it, its not your time. The week before you left us you were in so much pain, the vicar came, he gave you communion, he shouldn't have really because you weren't confirmed, but he said he'd never seen someone with as much faith in God as you. After you'd had communion your pain disapeared, don't know how, it just did, even the doctors couldn't explain it. Then grandad came to visit you and said its time lass.
You'd even arrange your own funeral and everything, you were so couragious, so caring and never put yourself first.
I remember we always had flowers in the house for you cos you'd say I want to look at them while I'm alive, I can't see them when I'm gone. You told us that when we visit your grave that all you want us to take is a single red rose. You'll have been gone 25yrs this month and it feels like yesturday. On the 20th of this month, I'll be there with my single red rose for you mum.
I've wrote this because I want to thank my mum, thank her for making me what I am today, even though she died when I was 16, I know she's still around for me.
I might not have had an easy life, but it would have been alot worse if it hadn't have been for the things I learnt from my mum. Love, compassion, understanding, how to fight for what you love, to put the feelings of others first, to be always there for my children no matter what. She taught me everthing I am today.
So to me my Mum is and will always be my woman of valour. (I love you mum)
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