Oh I know we cant be friends, which is what he thinks we can do, but I know that it will just hurt what Im trying to do. That is where the guilt is on his end, but thats ok, I know I just have to let it go and move past it to stop the guilt or I will never get anywhere.

Now, you need time to yourself.  I was meaning in the distance, you could be friends - never know

I'm friends with 'some' of mine & I gotta tell ya, NOW they make me laugh - but they know I'm laughing....

 

Some - HELL NO!!!  I can't stress that strongly enough

No, there are only two scenarios where they can be friends. 

 

Obviously he's someone you'd like if you were free to like whomever.  But you're not.  You're committed to someone else.  This is a big part of why marriage sucks, lol, b/c you'd have those instances where you'd love to get to know a certain person more b/c they are attractive (yes, beyond physique) and you can tell you like them, or they're your type, etc., but you cannot allow yourself to get into that situation because only bad things can happen.  Now, there is truth taht if all is not well in the marriage, then maybe such an opportunity could present itself and eventually that could be a very good thing for you, but it doesn't sound like that's the case in your current situation, bekka. 

i was going to say who would be with lav in the first place, but then again, well if deja can get a man, who can't

let's see that cat picture.

Hey, if YOU can get a man Trollsten - then logic suggests I have NO problem.

Double hell - not even suggests, basically screams I can have men....

Repressed pussy-whipped online characters are the LAST people who should be dishing out advice about affairs of the heart.

 

Liz, the fact of the matter is Bekka launched this entire thread out of her sense of guilt over what she had done during their time apart, not his.  So what's that tell you about her values, standards, or arrangements?  I don't think most people are oddball freebirds who have open relationships or no rules zones and timeouts, lol, and so I apologize if I stumbled upon one in my generalized assumptions of Bekka's situation.  However, her candid response to me is more valid than your vitriolic objection to my tone.  Same goes for SY and his little crusade againt me, lol.  Cute, sy, but when the party you set to defend isn't up in arms over comments I offered in response to her seeking those of any or all of us, well then your cause is lost.  I'd be happy to give you a fresh picture; however, the guy's face who I was using seems to have gone off the radar, lol

No its ok, I posted something very personal and tough that I was going through, and I really do value all opinions. Ineeded to hear them, whoever posted them. So nobody worryabout me, I appreciate what everyone has to say I really do. I handled a tough situation very badly, and I want to get out of it and have some of the pain go away. thats really all. Its been really hard, and it doesnt bother me if i get criticism or support. I really do love you guys, and I never relaly share anything deep or personal, but you guys have always been there for me, and this stuff is just hard to share in general.

 

Hey Lady, what happened to the email?????