How do you think this quote relates to power exchange relationships which you are currently in, have been in previously or would like to be in?
I’d have to agree with annie that, in totality, the quote may not have a lot to do with relationships of the power exchange variety. Moreover, several key points have been made throughout the discussion that would support why it might not be in the best interest to try and make it fit:
annie says: Submissives are not children and dominants are not parents.
I could not agree more strongly and have been bothered when I have experienced someone making such analogies.
annie says: I don't believe that childlike innocence has a place in a power exchange relationship �?I don't think that adults can choose to be innocent �?at some point innocence turns to naivety in the life of an adult as there is a perception that adults "should" be able to ascertain the differences that will help them to learn as opposed to remaining ignorant of pertinent facts of life.
I agree on all counts. It may simply be the application of the term innocence that catches my attention but unless it is under the most severe conditions of confinement or deprivation I am inclined to believe that adults cannot choose to be innocent but sometimes do choose to be naive or ignorant.
If an adult is considering (inquisitive, questioning, exploring) power exchange with another person I would guess that somehow innocence has been lost along the way and that they are acknowledging aspects of themselves and how to live their lives that have been revealed in one way or another. To maintain intellectual or behavioral “innocence�?as a means to remain “child-like�?(unless adopted for role-play) in an adult relationship, let alone one that is based on power exchange, can be quite debilitating to both parties.
cinna says: Hopefully, as we enter into a power exchange relationship, we are aware of our own set of questions.
Hopefully this is the foundation on which a person does enter a power exchange relationship. One must possess some perspective and knowledge in order to have a set of questions that are relevant to establishing any relationship and especially one based on power exchange. It seems to me that this would preclude innocence and demonstrate an unwillingness to remain naïve or ignorant.
cinna says: The insides of a much-loved partner can be magic to me.
Perhaps this might be where the sense of “innocence�?may fit with your take on it. I would be more apt to use another word from the quotation �?wonderment. I have been fortunate in life to have relationships with people who were “much-loved�?partners. I can be a hopeless romantic and revel in that sense of magic with another person. I dwell on those moments of self revelations �?I am in awe when I have been trusted to be “let inside�?another person �?to touch and see parts of her that she reveals to very few.
I revel in those moments of being 17 again, all mushy and babbling �?again in awe that this creature can have such an effect on me and that I am still capable of embracing these experiences. Pondering her beauty from within, whether in the most subtle or profound ways, is an endless source of satisfaction, arousal, and bliss.
What is the role of curiosity and knowledge in power exchange relationships?
jessi says: This person's curiosity begins to be partly satisfied and yet also propelled further so they seek other resources (authorities) in which to learn more.
jessi says: I also think that the never-ending cycle of curiosity [and] knowledge �?is often in play in a power exchange relationship.
Allowing my omission of authority, I think you have described something that is vital for any relationship to be mutually satisfying. From the very outset, a person’s curiosity about all that might fall under the umbrella of the term power exchange acts as a catalyst for gaining knowledge of self that guides one to being able to achieve whatever his/her goals eventually might be. Wherever and however they pursue their curiosity (chat room, website, or other sources of information), satisfying one’s curiosity leads to greater knowledge that equips the person to make decisions regarding to what extent they choose to actualize this knowledge.
This might be where your take on authority and knowledge fits. In your example of the person first encountering the labyrinth of power exchange knowledge, one can be intimidated by their humble acknowledgment of their lack of knowledge and the façade of “authority�?that seems so prevalent in the many sources of “knowledge�?available. In a realm where “everyone has a right to their opinion�?seems to be a droning mantra to challenges, it is important that a person discern whether opinions are based on substantive knowledge or simply a compilation of concepts, perceptions, and/or preferences that have no basis in fact. Moreover, curiosity and the compulsion to gain knowledge is best filtered through common sense gained in general life experience as opposed to succumbing to the mirage of being authoritative. If the choice is made to enter into any degree of a power exchange relationship, let it be based on the authority over oneself gained from the cycle of curiosity and knowledge that “fits�?rather than an external authority inundating you with admonitions of shoulda, oughta, and gotta.
I will once again defer to annie when she states: I believe the curiosity begins with the sense that there is something that resonates for us, and the knowledge is gained from the interaction and subsequent exploration, when it comes to engaging in a relationship. Whether that might be the initial exploration of play in a casual relationship or in a committed, intimate, on-going relationship, acting on the curiosity of what this other person might add to my life opens the door to greater knowledge of self as well as the other person. If what resonates is mostly positive, most of the time then it is likely that curiosity will feed itself and continue to seek more knowledge.
I am a curious person and I find other people to be fascinating, be it in a positive or negative way. In the context of power exchange I am curious to see if I can add to the other person’s life in general, and specifically in the exchange of dominance and submission. I believe I am quite knowledgeable of myself in terms of my preferences and abilities �?two essentials to be shared with the other person and expected from her. It is one thing to be shy but a whole different thing to be shameful to the point where one cannot share her desires. It makes the curiosity fade or makes something else resonate within me that is like a warning buzzer.
In the most satisfying power exchange relationships I have had, the resonance of on-going curiosity and knowledge has been a driving force. It might be something as simple a thing as discussing how a new change or decision in life is affecting my partner. It surely includes the resonance that comes from the ways in which we attend to the power of each other’s domination and submission. My curiosity is provoked by satisfaction and urged further to seek more “experiential�?knowledge of how to bring her along with me to “that place�?in which her submissiveness and my dominance is sated.
PS: Should any alleged innocence happen to creep in I hope to have the knowledge to corrupt it and broaden her knowledge base.
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