Here is something else cute I found on the O. Forum. By: Richard Payne
1. I don't do windows because ... I love birds and don't want one to run into all that clean, clear glass and hurt themselves.
2. I don't wax floors because ... I am terrified a guest will slip and hurt themselves, I'll feel terrible and they may sue me.
3. I don't mind the dustbunnies because ... they are very good company and I have named most of them - they agree with everything I say.
4. I don't disturb cobwebs because ... I want every creature to have a home of their own and besides, my grandson loves spiders.
5. I don't Spring Clean because ... I love all four of the seasons and don't want them to get jealous of each other.
6. I don't plant a garden because ... I don't want to get in God's way - he is an excellent designer and needs no help from me.
7. I don't put things away because ... I would never be able to find them again if I do.
8. I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because ... I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over to their homes for dinner.
9. I don't iron because - I believe them when they say Permanent Press.
10. I don't stress much on anything any more because ... that kind of a personality dies young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up, crusty old pain in the neck.
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these people? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mail carriers could look for them while they delivered the mail?
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one, so I'm wearing my garage door opener. Now everyone thinks that I'm cool, too.
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