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Each of us go on eventually with what we each consider some type of normalcy.....however you never know what might trigger your memory and set you back....today I don't think so much about the night we found our James was so near death....and then suddenly something happens....for me it was seeing LIFE STAR landing in the high school parking lot yesterday morning....I know in my heart that LIFE STAR has saved so many lives....however in my mind when I see or hear it starting to land....I go back to remembering the night we found James and him being airlifted to Amarillo fighting to save his life...I always just break down and cry....I knew in my heart that night that my son would never come home alive....I am trying to say that although one may think that they are so much better in their grief....usually we are....and then something will happen to take us back....Sherry |
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| | | From: MomOf4 | Sent: 10/11/2008 5:08 PM |
(((Sherry))) You are so right about that. I am so sorry for the loss of your dear son. For me, a big trigger is hearing the wail of an ambulance siren. It takes me back to the day I found my Bobby lying there lifeless. As the ambulance pulled out, I pulled out right behind it....running every light and stop sign...I kept up with the vehicle carrying my son. And, then every time I would pass by that hospital emergency room...all of that was triggered again. One day, months later, I was on my way to work when I heard and saw an ambulance. I could not stop the tears from flowing....I got to work with red, teary eyes....but, they understood. I hope that one day, the sight of that LIFE STAR, and the sound of an ambulance, does not bring us as much pain. Love and big hugs....Rean |
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| | | From: MomOf4 | Sent: 10/13/2008 12:29 AM |
| Today I don't dwell as often on the day that I found my Bobby lying there lifeless.....and then suddenly something happens to trigger that awful memory. For me it is seeing, and hearing the awful wail of an ambulance siren. Now, I know, in my heart, that the peramedics and ambulance save a lot of lives, however, in my mind, when I hear that sound, I go back to remembering that awful day they could not save my son, and the tears start to fill my eyes. On that day, when that ambulance left the driveway, I left right behind it, and kept up with it all the way to the ER. I ran every red light and stop sign, right along with them. I knew in my heart that my Bobby was already gone. A few months later, on my way to work, an ambulance passed with it's siren blaring. The tears started to flow. I got to work all teary eyed.... There are some memories that we would love to forget, but, that are burned into our minds. Love and big hugs...Rean | | | | http://groups.msn.com/SerenityBkgd | | |
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And sometimes we don't know what those triggers will be.........we have the big ones.....the ones we know always bring tears..........and then there are the other things.......'yesterday afternoon......two wild geese landed in my back yard on a rainy afternoon........it was beautiful as they landed together and then stood in the rain and rubbed their heads together......just moments later 4 more landed........it was their children.........youngsters just starting to venture out on their own abit..........they landed not far behind their parents and all began to eat together of the bread I'd thrown out........I sat alone in my house and watched them through the window...........and thought how Rachel loved the geese.........and those endless tears began for the rest of the evening................one minute I was fine.......and the next........a few geese in the yard triggered me............We just never know............... (HUGS) Cindy |
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