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| | From:  ßratz (Original Message) | Sent: 4/16/2004 4:08 PM |
Do you spank your children? Do you think it should be a crime? Do you think it is an effective form of discipline? Where is that line that turns it from discipline into abuse? |
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Do you spank your children? Lorr says .....no smurf says .....yes Do you think it should be a crime? Both say no Do you think it is an effective form of discipline? Smurf says yes.....lorr says no Where is that line that turns it from discipline into abuse? When the parent knows what is right and wrong, and when to stop!!! Lorr says very thin!!!! will elaborate once the beer has worn off!!!!!! |
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I have been known to smack my kids, but I really try hard not to now, partly because it doesn't work as a form of discipline, but also I think at their age it just humiliates them (they're 7 & 5), which is not the idea! It's one thing giving them a little slap when they're little to stop them doing something dangerous, and another hitting out of pure anger and frustration. Of course I don't think it's a crime, I think it's necessary sometimes. It becomes a form of abuse, tho, when the parent uses it for their own benefit, not the child's (ie to get rid of anger). |
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I wont say i've NEVER smacked mine but its been very rare and its always been out of fear, like when they were little and ran off while out with them to the point where i thought they were lost or the instance when my youngest put water into a hot chip pan "to see what happens mum".  (I tell ya, if he ever DOES do drugs i wont be able to tell  ). I dont think it should be a crime although i hate to see it happening, because i dont believe it IS an effective form of punishment. I think it just teaches children that its ok for someone bigger and stronger than yourself to hit someone else. Its difficult to explain where it changes from discipline to abuse because everyones views on whats right and wrong are different and i dont believe that there will ever be sufficient guidlines on this. |
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I did give them a smack on the bum when they where small, i never seriously hit them. I'd say no it's not a crime if it just the odd smack on the bum or hand. When there very small it isaeeective ,but not when they get a little bigger it just make's things worst and you can Embarress them. It abuse went the Parent cant or won't stop, and they start to use belts , sticks or worst. It did'nt do me any harm when i was growing up. Maureen |
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| | | From: ßratz | Sent: 4/17/2004 7:38 PM |
Do I spank. No. In fact, of all 7 the only one who has ever gotten a smack was Kyle (ofcourse) from James when he ran on the road. He only got 3 steps away, but it was enough to scare the shit out of poor daddy. Do I think it should be a crime? No. Because all that will do is take children away from good parents who may get frustated, or scared, or parents who are simply raising their child as they were raised. I think it's already been said here "it didn't do me any harm". Effective form of discipline: No. I don't. I think it is a bandaid solution when the parent it at their wits end, but in the end all it teaches is that sometimes, if you get frustrated enough, it's ok to hit. It doesn't solve a problem or teach them anything. I heard the whole argument "They learn if they try to do it again, they will get a smack. That's all they understand at 2" Well, if they can understand that, then they can understand "if they try it again they can end up in time out, or in bed" When does it become abuse? When you use it INSTEAD of disciplining. You can't bother to teach your child, so you smack them for every offense rather than teach them right from wrong. When you use anything other than your own hand. When you are reacting to what they do, rather than teaching them not to do it. When you are angry. Personally, I have never set out to say "I never plan on spanking". I always said I would never lay a hand on my child in anger. And by the time they have ever driven me to anger, by the time the anger has subsided I have thought of about a dozen methods that would work more effectively. Oh, and I wanted to add, that I haope no one gets offended by these posts. We all have different views. And you have to be your own barometer. If you felt out of control, or felt you were too hard on your kids just remember. A bad incident doesn't make an abusive paretn. Abuse is a system of life, and an attitude. And I think everyone has looked at a few moments where we think "F*** I handled that really bad." Or is that just me? |
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Do you spank your children? yes ihave done when little but very rarely Do you think it should be a crime? no i dont think it should be a crime as all this will achieve is parents loosing their children who are perefectly good parents Do you think it is an effective form of discipline? it depends i think when very little possibly a tap on hand if doing something dangerous but not when old enough to reason with Where is that line that turns it from discipline into abuse? i think it turns to abuse when you are constantly smacking them using sticks to smack them and hitting them hard enough to leave briuses |
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Do you spank your children? I have on the odd occasion, but much prefer other forms of disipline. Do you think it should be a crime? No I dont, this wouldnt achieve anything. Do you think it is an effective form of discipline? No I dont, I feel that taking away a priviledge, sending to bed early, grounding etc is far more effective, and is less easily forgotton than a tap on the butt or hand. Where is that line that turns it from discipline into abuse? When you lash out in anger, to relieve your own frustration, when you use anything other than your hand, or you leave a mark. |
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