Dysphonic Mania   By the time I reach full-blown mania, I am no longer euphoric. I become dysphoric, which means that my "high"is all out of whack. My symptoms of dyshhoria usually include: irritability, impatience, impulsiveness, brutal honesty, extreme fatigue due to lack of sleep, compounded by the continuing inability to sleep; spending money that isn't there and the certain knowledge that I am surrounded by total fools, this is a time that I can use bad words that a lady never uses and the only time a curse word comes out of my mouth. Whoever coined the phrase, "Making a mountain out of a molehill" was probably talking about someone who was manic. The manic mind is frightening adept at blowen small things out of proportion. If ya know a bipolar who becomes very melodramatic, while also exhibiting some of the above traits, I doubt that they're looking for attention. Their brain is telling them that everything is a crisis. Being manic is being in a constant state of "fight or flight."   Moods Let's see. Crabby? Ornery? Irritable? Short-tempered? B**chy? Enraged? Homicidal? Ugly? Yeah, that's it. UGLY. Just don't get in my way or around me!!   Social One thing ya can expect when I'm dysphoric, is the unvarnished truth. Something happens to my "tactful" filters. Under normal (whatever that is) circumstances, I can generally find a tactful way of saying just about anything to anyone. While dysphoric (which can occur while either depressed or manic), through they get it with both barrels. I have strong principles. If these principles are violated, especially with regard to the mistreatment of a friend, or family, watch out! The b**ch has knifes instead of nails!!   Self-Image I despise nearly everything and everyone when I'm dysphoric, including myself. I consider myself to be a loathsome, vile, nasty, hideous, ill-tempered shrew. I'm the devils daughter and I ran him out of he**.(But, I'm the only one who's allowed to say that!) I won't even look in a mirror to comb or brush my hair when I'm this way because I see a fat, ugly person that doesn't need to live or be loved by anyone.   Concentration This is variable. Either I'm robot-like, continuing to work, despite total exhaustion; or I'm so agitated that I'm distracted, and can't do a darn thing.   Energy My energy levels are generally pretty high during this phase. The problem is, the energy is powered by a seething rage that no human being deserves to encounter.   Sexuality Have ya ever seen a cat in heat? I want sex. I want it NOW, and I'm not particularly interested in whether my partner wants it or not. Forget making love, I just want SEX! I get downright mean if I don't get it when I want it. In the past there is hardly anything that makes me more furious when I'm dysphoric than being turned down for sex. This creates a self-perpetuating cycle. I get turned down, so I become angry, bitter, and nasty. Then, I continue to be turned down because who wants to be intimate with a monster? This is not an attractive time for me.   Goals I am web master for five websites with Leon. The first one, are very ambitious undertaking about our wishing well fountains. Then the other three, one about bipolar disorder, is in its infancy, but will likely grow to become huge as well. And also the Teen site and the Abuse and Rape support site. It's during the dysphoric mania stage that I get most work done on the websites. It's a way to channel all this energy that's bouncing around inside of me into something positive.   Food When I'm dysphoric I don't do much cooking for myself nor family. I'm to darn cranky to cook. I wind up throwing food and dishes. Also, since I lack any semi balance of judgment while manic, I have no qualms about spending money on three or four meals a week dining out. Very indulgent and self-destructive.