Living With A Bi-Polar Mate Advice from those that live with a Bi-Polar mate My name is Leon, I'm the Butterfly's worst half, and she is the better half. Living with Janice has been as the saying goes like riding a wild roller coaster. Up one minute, down the next and all around the world and back, streight to HELL, then to Heaven!! From not knowing on the way home from work if the one I love would be alive or dead! Coming home to no supper and a go to hell look with a DON'T TOUCH or speak to me attitude, or coming into the door with a sexy women waiting on me with a steak supper and that come here big boy look in her pretty eye's. I love this woman and wouldn't trade her for any other. I want to live the rest of my life with this woman even though it's it's not easy living with her. And most men wouldn't live with her!! When I first meet Janice, she tried to explain what Bi-Polar was to me. But as she tried to explain it, I didn't grasp it very well. As our relationship grew I began to have some problems with not being able to understand why she did or didn't do things a normal person in a relationship would do. She was causing havoc with my male ego!!! I knew I wanted to be with this woman so I began a long journey to try to find out what made her tick so I could underdstand her. I made a few phone calls and that night I went to my first of many Bi-Polar support groups meetings by myself. In two hours I came away knowing more than Janice had told me and with a different mind set about why she did the things she did or didn't do. From this point I went to many meeting alone, and then took her with me. I spent about 5 months being an internet surfer reading everything I could about Bi-Polar. Janice sometimes jokes that I know enough about Bi-Polar that I could be a counselor. In the long run I suggest to any one that is going to spend their life living with a Bi-Polar mate they should first make sure in their heart that they truly love this person. Go to Bi-Polar support groups and learn what you are dealing with. Research it, and know it, because you will be living it too!! And you will be sometimes dealing with a DEMON.  I'm gonna get into trouble with this statement but if you are a male you have to be able to separate the Bi-Polar from if she is just being a emotion women in a bad mood. Look down the road at the many hardships you will have to endure, and the fact that you may come home and this person you love has taken their life for no apparent reason to you, (I myself fear this everyday) but to them it was to stop the pain they endure, the pain you could never feel. This is not a pretty picture to think about but you will spend countless hours in ER's, Dr's offices, and phys. wards, and you will spend many hours wondering when they will speak to you again, clean house, cook, and even take a bath. You will also wonder if the bank is going to call you and tell you that you are $2,000.00 overdrawn, because of their impulse to go on spending sprees or bill collectors calling because bills have not been paid.  Or are you at work wondering if they are with an old lover because of their need for sex during a manic high I myself have not had to endure this one! These are some of the things I found out that can happen with some Bi-Polars.  Then if you love this person enough to live with them and will live with Bi-Polar yourself  and knowing all the above things can happen. Then you watch, study their every facial, their eyes, the tones of their speech, their moods so you can be aware of how they are feeling. This will let you know to move forward or back off and give them space until they want more. I have learned Janice very well now and know almost all of her expressions in face and in words spoken or unspoken.  Bi-Polar will repel any dominating actions, the only time Bi-Polar will allow you to be in a take charge, do this for me position is when your mate is in a co-dependant  phase. There are times they need to be co-dependant but NEVER allow your partner to become totally co-dependant on you. If you are a male this is sometimes hard to do, because of our male characteristic to take care of our female. This reacts in a total worthlessness, good for nothing, you don't need me depressed mood and I need to kill myself so you can have someone better, which they may act on.   More To Come The Good Side