DEMOCRAT
You have 2 cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows,
forcing you to sell 1 to raise money to pay the tax.
The people you voted for then take the tax money,
buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.
SOCIALIST
You have 2 cows.
The government takes 1 and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
REPUBLICAN
You have 2 cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
COMMUNIST
You have 2 cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive ... and often
sour by the time you get it.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have 2 cows.
You sell 1, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have 2 cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a
man in a foreign country who has only 1 cow, which was a gift from your
government.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have 2 cows.
The government takes them both, shoots 1, milks the other, pays you for
the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
You sell 1, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of 4 cows.
You are surprised when 1 cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the
analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your
stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
You go on strike because you want 3 cows.
You go to lunch.
Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce 20 times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded
trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
You engineer them so they are all blonde, drink lots of beer, give
excellent quality milk, and run a 100 miles an hour. Unfortunately they
also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have 5 cows. You have some more vodka. You
count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and
takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are 2.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private
parts. Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in
the hospital.
POLISH (or HUNGARIAN) CORPORATION
You have 2 bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best
looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people
can't figure out how to,
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