Attention: Spouses, Children and Other Supporters of People Living With Bipolar Disorder �?/FONT> “Finally! Proven Strategies and Real-Life Tactics You Can Use NOW to Cope and Deal With Your Loved One’s Bipolar Disorder�?/FONT> If you’re tired, frustrated, angry and confused about how to help your spouse, partner, parent, or other loved one cope with bipolar disorder, good news �? Bipolar Disorder Does Not Have to Be a Life Sentence. Your Loved One CAN Still Be a Happy, Stable, Calm, Successful and Productive Member of Society Dear Fellow Bipolar Supporter, If you’re supporting a spouse, partner, parent, or other loved one who has bipolar disorder, this will be the most important website you’ve ever found. Because I’m going to reveal exactly how you can get a full arsenal of proven coping strategies and techniques to help you deal with your loved one’s bipolar disorder AND to help your loved one successfully live with the disorder. This is information your doctors can’t (or won’t) give you. Information you won’t find at the library or bookstore. And information you desperately need if you want your loved one to finally enjoy a “normal�?life and do all the things you take for granted, like: - Make and keep friends
- Hold down a steady-paying job
- Get along well with friends and neighbors
- Treat you and other family members with respect and love
- Enjoy an active social life
- Act like a responsible, independent adult
- Take good care of themselves
- Pay all bills in full and on time
- Use credit cards responsibly
- Be able to arrange and pay for their basic needs
I know you want your loved one to achieve those dreams. But right now, they seem out of reach, don’t they? Believe me, I know. Because two years ago, I was standing in your shoes. I was typing the phrase “bipolar disorder�?into every search engine on the Internet just hoping to find a magic solution that would end my nightmare. I read through website after website trying to track down answers. I searched for reasons, guidance, even just someone to talk to. All I found was the same old rehashed information on bipolar disorder �?nothing useful. And certainly nothing that told me how to help a loved one cope with bipolar. It was incredibly frustrating. I was literally at the end of my rope �?because every day seemed like one long, never-ending bad dream that I couldn't wake up from. You see, my mother, who has had bipolar disorder since she was born, was in the middle of a major bipolar episode �?probably the worst she had ever experienced. And I had stepped in to be her primary supporter. All the days of abuse, yelling, and screaming had taken their toll on me (the same feeling you’ve probably had with taking care of your loved one �?the stress is incredible, isn’t it?).
The Internet was just the start for me. I devoured everything I could find at the library, including boring, technical medical journals and dozens of books. I tracked down every bipolar expert I could find, in all disciplines �?from physician, to therapist, to pharmacist and beyond. And during my 8-month journey, I went from knowing nothing about her disorder and having NO idea how to help her �?to becoming an expert who has been able to help her stay stable. And after my months of research �?I can tell you one thing for sure: if you’re supporting a loved one with bipolar, you have a better chance of winning one of those multi-state lotteries than of finding the information you need to help your loved one SUCCESSFULLY cope with bipolar. Why? Because nearly all of the information that’s available is produced by doctors and professors who have a clinical relationship with bipolar disorder �?NOT by people who are living with the disorder day in and day out. But you don’t need cold, clinical theories from physicians who spent a few hours a day tending patients with bipolar. You need coping strategies that work �?from people who walked in your shoes day in, day out. Here’s the second thing I can tell you for sure: if you don’t get your hands on proven coping strategies �?and soon �?your loved one may end up permanently unemployed �?addicted to drugs �?sexually promiscuous �?homeless �?and even suicidal. Want proof? Let me tell you how my family has been affected by my mom’s long struggle with bipolar. Years Of Ignoring My Mother's Illness During most of my life, my family didn't talk about my mother's illness. We didn't plan what to do if she went into another episode. We didn't talk to her doctor. We didn't educate ourselves about the illness. We simply pretended like it didn't exist. In fact, no one in my house, not even me, used the word "bipolar" for the last 28 years. When my mom went into an episode, we just sat back and hoped that she'd either get over it on her own or that her doctor would make it all better. It Started Late One Spring Near the end of spring two years ago, I started to notice that my mom was acting different. I could see changes in her, but I didn't say anything about it because we didn't talk about my mom's illness. Slowly, those changes became more obvious. In November, my mom was really bad. She was yelling, screaming, and getting incredibly mad at everyone who came near her. After a little investigating, I found out that she was also missing days of work. Even without talking about it, I knew that she was sick again. She was in a major "episode." And it was getting worse, not better. The Mother Of All Episodes My mother has had four major episodes. Those are the kind of episodes where she has to be hospitalized for more than 10 days. Based on my calculations, that was one major episode every 7 years or so. This time wasn't like those episodes; it was much worse. My mother had turned into a completely different person. She wouldn't eat or sleep. She only yelled, screamed, and said extremely hurtful things to my father and me. Since my brother doesn't like to deal with the problem, he never made himself available, if you know what I mean. For about a month, my mom was on this rampage. She missed many days of work and finally stopped going altogether. Even then, she would call her job at least 6 to 8 times a day. She would also call family members and friends just to say mean things to them. I can't tell you how many people she alienated in just that short period of time. The Lies Started If that wasn't bad enough, my mom then started to make things up. She would tell people that I said this or that my dad had said that when in reality, we hadn't said anything of the sort. She'd tell me that other people had told her things which I found out was completely not true. It was so bad that we couldn't tell when she was telling the truth or telling a lie. I Got Fed Up One day after she screamed at me for about an hour, I started to get really mad (but not mad at her, though). I was mad that I didn't know what was wrong with her. I was mad that it didn't seem like anything could help her.except pretending the problem would fix itself.I was mad that no one in my family was doing anything And I was mad that I didn't have any information. I didn't even know the correct name for what she had. My family had always just called it "manic depression," even though that term hadn't been used in years. I Decided It Was Time For My Mother To Go The Hospital I finally decided that she needed to go to the hospital. Of course, she refused. She screamed that she was fine. She told me that I needed to go to the hospital, not her. She insisted that all of her "supporters" said she would get better at home. She called me a "terrible son" and demanded that I "get out" of her life "forever." And that was just the beginning. She continued to swear at me and to throw everything she could get her hands on at me. She repeatedly demanded that I leave the house and leave her alone because she never wanted to see me again. For the next four weeks, my mom continued to stay in the house instead of going to the hospital. Initially, I thought about following my brother's lead and pretending that there was no problem. I could just close my eyes, cross my fingers, and hope that everything would work itself out. But I couldn't do that. You see, my dad has quite a few health problems, including congestive heart failure, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. I was worried that my mom's screaming would cause him to eventually have a heart attack. To protect my dad's health, I spoke to my mom every morning so that she could scream and yell at me for at least an hour. EVERY DAY for 4 straight weeks she screamed at me every morning and again when I called her at night. For about two hours a day, I let her scream at me so I could divert at least some of her anger away from my dad. The Doctor Didn't Have A Clue After searching for awhile, I was able to find the name of my mom's doctor. We'd never talked to him or about him, so we'd also never learned his name or his number (which was one of my family's big mistakes). When I did talk to the doctor, he didn't have a clue. He didn't know that my mom was "that bad." He said that he was trying to regulate her medicine, and I asked, "How are you going to know when her medicine was right?" Do you know what he said? He said, "I'll ask her." Can you imagine asking a mentally ill person to determine whether or not their medication is effective? He was a moron! I asked him many other questions, too, but he didn't have any answers. He couldn't give me one single answer! He made me so angry that I finally said, "Let's start over again and let me ask you some warm up questions like "What's your name?" and "What state do you live in?'" Of course that made him mad, but it also made me realize that he was part of the problem, not part of the solution. I Went To The Library Since her doctor didn't know anything, I decided to visit a large library in my area to find some answers. When I went in, I felt nervous about asking the reference librarian for help finding information on "manic depression." I was convinced she was going to run from me or give me some weird look because I truly thought that people frowned on any discussion of mental illness. Thankfully, I was wrong. Everyone in the library was very helpful. That wasn't the problem. The problem was that there weren't very many books on manic depression or bipolar disorder. There were zillions of books on weight loss, gardening, cooking, and living with other health problems but there were no books on how to cope with someone who has bipolar disorder. The books I did find spend most of the time talking about why people have bipolar disorder, but they never talked about the kinds of issues I was facing with my mom... such as how to get someone into treatment, how to get them out of debt, how to prevent them from losing their job, etc. Plus, most of the books about bipolar disorder were too technical to be easily understood or were written by bipolar people for bipolar people. Neither type of book was helpful to me, so there was a huge gap in the knowledge base. That's why I started finding other sources of information. I read articles, college textbooks, and similar materials. Plus, I started finding support groups. After about 20 days of MASSIVE research, I finally could say that I had a handle on the situation and could identify most of the mistakes my family had made during the last 30 years. However, I didn't stop there. Over the next few months, I started interviewing doctors, therapists, hospital workers, social workers, and individuals that have bipolar. I attended support groups and started compiling information, making notes, and creating checklists. As I was doing all of this, my main goal was to NEVER repeat what was happening to my mom. I Decided To Learn Everything There Was To Know After that, I took off 6 months from work in order to drive all over my state on a quest to learn everything that I could about bipolar disorder. I attended support groups and interviewed people. I spent and lost an incredible amount of money because I had to pay most of these people to talk to me and because I wasn't able to attend to my own business. All of my research was worth it. Here's how it's helped my mom: Mom before I did my research - Wouldn't admit she had a disorder
- Massive debt
- Bad doctor
- No therapist
- Medicine not working
- Threatening debt collectors
- No plan if she gets sick
- Little cooperation
- Lost 15 jobs in 10 years
| Mom today after a lot of research - Admits she has the disorder
- Debt under control
- Great doctor
- Great therapist
- Medicine working
- NO debt collection calls
- Detailed plan if she gets sick again
- Full cooperation
- Great job that's flexible and stress free
| The difference this information has made in my life and in my family's life has been amazing. Helping my mom is so much easier these days. I only wish I had found all of this out years ago. Although my story has a positive ending, I met many people during my research whose stories were not ending well. So many of them were desperate to find some answers that would help their loved one, but they didn’t have the time, money and energy to do the same amount of massive research I had undertaken. They were struggling to make it through each day, constantly sick with worry that something horrible would happen to their loved one before the bipolar was brought under control. |