As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember .
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book.  It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a  large trash can.

10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal  fluid."

11. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was  and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him  rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to  bite."

12. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

13. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never  point the wrong way.