You will never understand why I LIKE to hurt myself! Why I NEED to hurt myself.  The sense of relief when I do!
  I am an illusion, fading away ever so slowly, soon I will be but a memory.
  A memory of a messed up, mentally ill person.
 Im trapped, trapped in my own prison that no one can get into and I cant get out of.
 You want to fix me.
 I CANT BE FIXED!!!
  Meds are not the answer! There is no answer! This is what you want for the next 30 yrs?
  The rages, the frustration, the anger,the depression, the sucidal thought. the hoplessness?
 Because THIS is my LIFE!!!