JANICE'S BI-POLAR SUPPORT SITE

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I'm not sure where to begin. I have many psychiatric disorders and I'm not sure what side affects are from what disorder. I have bipolar, DID, PTSD, parinoia, anxiety, and BPD. Sometimes I hear things like knocking or people talking. I like to stay in my house cuz I feel safe here. I lost 2 marriges. Can't keep friends. My family does not understand so I lost them all except my sister that is younger than me. Savere mood swings. I lost my 3 daughters cuz of my illnesses. I am a cutter but am in remission, I guess. If there is such a thing. I have not cut in 1 year. I know for a fact that I self injured all my life. While growing up I bruised myself a lot and sprained ankles and wristes a lot and also cut. I would also imagin breaking bones by jumping off my house but I never acted on that. I used to burn myself with cigarets. Once I hit my hand with a hammer over and over again trying to break my hand but no luck. I never feel the pain. I'm glad that I have never felt like hurting anyone else. I do not see a therapist cuz I live in a small town and we don't have therapists here. I moved all the way accross the US to get away from all my past abusers. I feel more safe now than I have ever felt in my life. My disacossiating is under control now because I'm safe. I also feel lonley like everyone else here. I'm lonley for a man in my life but yet I'm terrified of men cuz they always sexually abuse me. I'm lonley for understanding family members. I'm lonley for my old friends and of course for my children. My self esteem is very low. I never had friends in school till I was in high school, I think because of my illnesses. My mother had manic depression and anxiety. My 8yr old has bipolar, ADHD, and Attachment Disorder. I think my oldest has bipolar but she has never been in therapy, so has never been diagnosed. She acts just like me though. She has a very bad temper and mood swings but it's hard to tell if she has bipolar or just going through the teenage mood swings. Well I have babbled on enough for now.

Free,You surely have been through a lot, but I have faith that you have the strength, to make your life better. A lot of that you have done already by moving. That was a big step for you to make. As for the illnesses, most of us here are aware of some if not all of them and we know how hard it is to cope some days. But, thank God Janice has provided this community for us, so we can come together as a family and lean on one another.Please know, I too am here for you. I'm on your IM already, so never hesitate to call if you need someone to talk to.

You will be in my prayers~

Embrace the positive and negative
in wholeness

"Only when we can love hell will we find heaven." -- Unknown source

People often view the spiritual path as a search for the light. In truth, spirituality asks us to bring light and darkness together in wholeness. And in fact, this is the only possible solution. In our world of duality, any effort to focus all attention on the light only serves to increase the power of the darkness. Our aim is not to deny or reject anything but to embrace it all.

"When you are able to contain both the light and dark together, that is a very enlightening state. It means that you no longer have to choose one experience over another.

You do not have to choose love OR hate, blame OR forgiveness, sadness OR joy, anger OR openheartedness.

You are no longer polarized; no particular feeling boxes you in and keeps you from the light of true self.

You then have access to the full range of human experiences you came into this life to embrace."

Apply the 7 step spiritual healing process to heal life’s pains. Let go of the hindering past and personality defences to find self-acceptance and positive change. Work with causes instead of effects.

Important Announcement The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN’s partner for online groups. Learn More
JANICE'S BI-POLAR SUPPORT SITE	[email protected]